Joke 1

The following joke comes from a senior design engineer at IBM
before he went into business for himself.

 Engineers' Way of Thinking

 *** Comprehending Engineers -- Take One ***

 Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
 "Where did you get such a great bike?"

 The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
 minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this
 bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
 said, "Take what you want."

 The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes
 probably wouldn't have fit."

 *** Comprehending Engineers -- Take Two ***

 An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
 better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
 enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
 relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
 of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
 "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume
 you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office
 and get some work done."

 *** Comprehending Engineers -- Take Three ***

 What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

 Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

 *** Comprehending Engineers -- Take Four ***

 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
 The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
 The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
 The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

 *** Comprehending Engineers-Take Five ***

 To the optimist, the glass is half full.
 To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
 To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.