Mike's Official Guide to New York Taxi Cab Survival
This page is about what tourists, natives or even illegal immigrants should do if they are forced to ride inside a New York City taxi cab. This site focuses on the essentials for survival and the charisma needed in order to keep the taxi driver psychologically stable.
Once again we see it; Taxi's dominating the road. 13,000 taxis, to be exact.
NYC Taxi Cab Essential Information:
Only even consider the "taxi" alternative if all other options are hopeless
If you are drunk and without a ride back home, you probably have a better chance of surviving if you crawl into a narrow, dark alley and hide in a box.
Taxi cab drivers are all mentally unstable and they will overcharge you, no matter your generosity.
All taxi cab drivers hate their jobs and have prior criminal records
NYC taxi cabs are all part of a secret underground cult working to dominate the NYC transit authority; taxi drivers want their own lanes for which only taxi's are allowed.
Taxi cab drivers frequently update their latest speed records, from as low as 55 mph and to as high as 168 mph. Awards are given monthly to drivers who break the 150 mph barrier.
The staple cab car, the Ford Crown Victoria, is an elite sedan reinforced with secret unknown alloys that maximize the damage to other cars upon impact.