When you're sick, you still go in to work, but they put you on cash register. That way, you interact with every single person that comes through, and you can cough all over them and the silverware.

If someone's card doesn't work trying to scan it, pretend like you care, and then proceed to try and scan it 6 more times. Then say, "Thank you" let them through without paying.

Durtex really doesn't work as well as hot water, but Donnie will say differently.

Some people really don't take the hint that we're closed when we turn the TV off, and they turn it back on.

It takes 10 people to wipe down a counter.

March 20 is National Meat Out Day, where they won't serve any meat the whole day. Remind me to slaughter a pig the night before.

Some people go to dinner twice in one night, go figure.