The 12 Steps of Al-Anon

Suggested Preamble to The Twelve Steps

The Al-Anon family groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.  We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause.  There are no dues for membership.  Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.

Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.  We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

The Twelve Steps

Study of these Steps is essential to progress in the Al-Anon program. The principles they embody are universal, applicable to everyone, whatever his or her personal creed. In Al-Anon, we strive for an ever-deeper understanding of these Steps and pray for the wisdom to apply them to our lives.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Information for the Newcomer (S-4)

The members of Al-Anon and Alateen understand how it feels to come to a meeting for the first time.  Since there may be a few things you are wondering about, we would like to share with you some of the answers to often-asked questions about the group and what happens at our meetings.

Who are the members and why are they here?

Members are all kinds of people from all walks of life: wives, husbands, lovers, sisters, brothers, children, and parents of alcoholics.  No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share a common bond: we feel our lives have been deeply affected by another person's drinking.  We meet together to share our experience, strength and hope.

How will it help me?

You will probably hear about a situation much like your own.  If you don't find someone with the same set of circumstances, you may still be able to identify with the way many of us feel about the effects of alcoholism on our lives.  We are all individuals striving to become the best people we can, each in our own way.  That way is not the same for each of us, but there is help for everyone whose problem is alcoholism in others.

Do I have to say anything?

If you wish to speak, please do.  If you would rather sit and listen, that's all right, too.  We try to listen to each other with an open mind.  We also say, "Take what you like and leave the rest."

Will anyone say I've been here?

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program.  It provides a safe place for members to share.  We use first names (or first names and last initials) only.  We do not talk about the people we see, or repeat what we hear at meetings.  We guard the anonymity of all Al-Anon and AA members.

Is this a religious fellowship?

Al-Anon is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one.  Members of any faith, or none at all, are welcome, and we make it a point to avoid discussion of specific religious beliefs.  The Al-Anon program is based on the spiritual idea that we can depend on a "Power greater than ourselves" for help in solving our problems and achieving peace of mind.  We are free to define that power in our own terms and in our own way.

Does Al-Anon have professional counselor or therapists?

Al-Anon offers a non-professional self-help program of recovery.

Can Al-Anon recommend treatment centers?

Because we are non-professional we do not recommend sources of outside help.  Through sharing of our personal experiences, members gain insight into dealing with their own situations.

Who is responsible for the group?

We all are.  We elect group officers to serve for short periods of time, perhaps three months to a year.  In giving service to Al-Anon, as part of our recovery program, members volunteer to lead meetings, set up the room, display the literature, and fill other group needs.

Are there other groups like this?

Our group is one of many thousands of Al-Anon and Alateen groups in more than 110 countries around the world.  We are tied together through a World Service Office (WSO) in Virginia Beach which acts as a clearinghouse for ideas and service.  In the U.S. and Canada, each group belongs to a district and an assembly area.  The group representatives meet and elect delegates to the annual World Service Conference.  (Refer to Al-Anon Service Manual P-24/27.)

How much is this going to cost?

There are no dues or fees to join an Al-Anon or Alateen group.  Most groups pass a basket at meetings, and we put in what we can afford to contribute on a voluntary basis.  We use the money to pay the rent for a meeting place, to provide Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature for the group, and to support our local and world-wide service centers.

Now what do I do?

We Al-Anon members find it helpful to:

• Obtain a meeting schedule.
• Go to meetings.
• Talk to each other before and after meetings.
• Exchange phone numbers.
• After while, you may wish to ask a longtime member to be your sponsor - a special friend with whom you can continue sharing your personal feelings.
• Read Al-Anon and Alateen books, pamphlets, our magazine, The Forum, and Al-Anon and Alateen newsletters.

Excerpts from Purpose and Suggestions (P-13)

Al-Anon Family Groups

Al-Anon Family Groups, Al-Anon and Alateen, are a fellowship of men, women, and children whose lives have been affected by the compulsive drinking of a family member or friend.

Whether or not the alcoholic has found sobriety, the family and friends can do a great deal to help themselves as well as the alcoholic.

Purpose

Each Al-Anon Family Group has one purpose: to help families and friends of alcoholics.  This goal is achieved by:

• Offering comfort, hope and friendship to the families and friends of compulsive drinkers.
• Providing the opportunity to learn to grow spiritually through living by the Twelve Steps adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
• Sharing experience in coping with the disease of alcoholism and learning how the Al-Anon program helps us to give understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

Learn to accept the fact that alcoholics suffer from an illness.  Try to avoid nagging, scolding and arguing.  It doesn't help; it hurts - both you and the alcoholic.

Improve yourself in Al-Anon work; helping others helps you, too.

Search out your own shortcomings and try to correct them.  Later you will find that you can detach your mind from your troubles, a sign of real progress.

Meditate daily on Al-Anon's simple slogans:

• One Day at a Time
• Keep It Simple
• Easy Does It
• How Important Is It?
• Just for Today
• Keep an Open Mind
• Let It Begin with Me
• Listen and Learn
• Think!
• First Things First
• Easy Does It
• Live and Let Live
• Let Go and Let God

Detachment (S-19)

Alcoholism is a family disease.  Living with the effects of someone else's drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help.  In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it.

We let go of our obsession with another's behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.

In Al-Anon We Learn:

• not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people;
• not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another's recovery;
• not to do for others what they could do for themselves;
• not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink;
• not to cover up for anyone's mistakes or misdeeds;
• not to create a crisis; and, 
• not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.

Al-Anon Is a worldwide organization that offers a program of recovery for the families and friends of alcoholics whether or not the alcoholic seeks help or even recognizes the existence of a drinking problem.  Members give and receive comfort and understanding through a mutual exchange of experiences, strength, and hope.  Sharing of similar problems binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected by a policy of anonymity.

Al-Anon Is Not a religious organization or a counseling agency.  It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other organization offering such services.  Al-Anon Family Groups, which includes Alateen for teenage members, neither express opinions on outside issues nor endorse outside enterprises.  No dues or fees are required.  Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one's own life has been adversely affected by someone else's drinking problem.

Just for Today (M-12)

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.  I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy.  This idea assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.  I will take my "luck" as it comes and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind.  I will study.  I will learn something useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today I will focus on what I can control, not on the things I can't control.  I will also realize that the only one I can truly control is myself.

Just for today I will be agreeable.  I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, and criticize not one bit.  I won't find fault with anything nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program.  I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax.  During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid.  Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Prayer for today

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace.  Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in the pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

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