Recently in identity Category

One of my coworkers went to a leadership conference a couple of weeks ago, where they participated in a number of exercises to discover what their personal strengths are and how they can leverage those strengths in the workplace. It was such a positive experience for her that the rest of us were offered the opportunity to partake in the same assessment tool to discover our own strengths. Of course, I signed up (have you met me?) despite the fact that these things tend to freak me out a bit. Because whenever I do these assessments, a part of my mind is always asking "But what is the right answer here? How should I be responding?" This time I took a deep breath and decided not to think about anything but rather just go with my first, impulsive response. 

Yesterday morning I posted a wordle that -- I thought -- was just a run of all the tags I used in my blog over the past several years. Imagine my surprise, then, when my co-worker commented on it, asking "how did you miss these?" and linked to a closeup:

I used to think personalized license plates were silly. I'd usually cross my fingers and hope for an issued plate that I could create some sort of mnemonic or play on words for easy memorization. That worked for a number of years but, lately, something changed. My Jeep is the first vehicle I've owned that is actually mine, free and clear. Living in NYC, I never missed having a vehicle--in fact, it's practically a liability with alternate side of the street parking to fight for and generally more vehicles than available space. When I got to Pennsylvania, TheCop and I shared one vehicle foreeeever. And when it died? We got another beater that lasted until too many parts fell off to replace. Repeat ad nauseum.

I'm sort of on my way back to State College. I say sort of because I'm currently pulled over at a rest stop just off I-84. I'm still technically in New York, and I wonder why I'm so torn about returning home. Then I get a revelation, which is really why I've pulled over.

I still consider New York my home.

It's been a very busy couple of months in my life, what with conferences, trips to the webs coast, new people, social media dust ups, black eyes, and quitting my job... you know, the usual. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily events that we don't really get to do all those things we intend to get around to. This time, however, I have some news that really should make the rounds, if only to put the musings to rest.

Let's make the announcement now, shall we?

Today is Veterans Day here in the United States, where we pause and thank our veterans and current military personnel for their service to their country. We all know someone who has served our country. I'm married to one. I met my husband while I was a freshman at UT Austin and he was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, in basic training. He then went on to serve in South Korea, where he spent time on the DMZ at the ripe old age of 20. He enlisted in part to take advantage of the G.I. Bill, but also because he believed it was the right thing to do. I honestly cannot fathom feeling called to serve my country, to protect the freedoms we take for granted every day. I do, however, know what life is like without those freedoms. I've lived overseas. Not just any country, mind you, where some things might be a bit unfamiliar. I lived in Saudi Arabia, the veritable antithesis of American life.

This post is written specifically to you, my social network. This week, I've done something crazy.

I quit my job.

I hear the shrieks now. "What??!?! Are you nuts?" "Don't you know the economy has taken a nose dive??" "We just saw you at a national conference! Why didn't you say anything then?" Believe me, I doubt you're saying anything to me that I haven't already said to myself. But I think being at High Ed Web only highlighted that, in Milwaukee, I was surrounded by people from across this hemisphere who love what they do and put up with a lot in order to do it. You tend to see that kind of drive and motivation within social media and higher ed. It's one of the many things that trips my trigger. In my case, however, the technologies I use, the events I engage with because I love being part of them were not things I was doing for my specific job at Penn State. They were things I was doing for me. The last four conferences I've been at? Not funded by my department. That's right, folks. Over $2000 in hard earned currency for two national conferences, because I felt that strongly about presenting and connecting with others in this field. I've also had to take vacation time in order to pursue the kind of professional development I've felt was necessary and relevant to my interests. Thank goodness for friends who felt it was important I was in the mix as well, because they let me room with them to make this happen. Those are good people, folks. I don't take that lightly.

I can hear you, you know. You're sitting there, shaking your head, asking "Why?"

I wondered what would be the worth of my words in the world
if i write them and then recite them are they worth being heard
just because i like them does that mean i should mic them
and see what might unfurl

i think of the significance of my opinions here
is it significant to be giving them does anybody care
just because i'm into this does that mean i should live like it
and really do i dare

art, art i want you
art you make it pretty hard not to
and my heart is trying hard here to follow you
but i can't always tell if i ought to

so i pondered the point of my art in this life
if i make it will someone take it and think it's genuine
will they be glad that i did 'cause they got something good out of it
will they leave me and be any more inspired

i question the outcome of the outpouring of myself
if i tell everyone my stories will this keep me healthy and well
will it give me purpose, to this world some sort of service
is it worth it, how can i tell

art, art...

-- Tanya Davis