Last night, I went to a party, and on the way, I noticed the oddest thing: Redifer Commons, in South Halls, was totally empty.  Not a soul to be found.  Even the televisions were off!  Never in the past four years here have I seen one of our public spaces so totally empty!

That got me wondering: minus 24 hour businesses (Sheetz, Duncan Donuts, etc.), there aren't many all-day-and-night public facilities at our disposal here in the US.  These Universities are the few places I've heard of this phenomena in the US, although even places like Pitt have to close down for the students' safety.  We don't.  It's safe here!  (Mostly!)

And that's something to be exploited.  We students have the ability here to really work and collaborate all night!  The thing that drives me about PSU is that it always has something going on.  It's this perpetual motion that inspired "Conlon Nancarrow at the LHC," the piece I won an ASCAP award for this semester.  It's this continuous drive that pulled me through my four years here.  It's that boundless energy that kept me striving for more, and ultimately benefited me more than anything.

And then this morning, I went to the HUB to do the Classical Hour like I always do: 7am-9am.  And the HUB was closed.  Closed.  That's when the reality of graduation really hit me.  Now, they've acknowledged my done-ness as well.  It was one of the oddest realizations of my life.

Students, heed my advice: stay up late and do crazy things.  I spent more nights sober this year (as a 22-year-old) than I ever had before to work on projects and classwork, and I'd kick in work on random pieces or poetry or videogames or whatever else I could get my hands on.  While I could've been more productive, I also gained a wealth of knowledge of many different things.  This is the place where this type of thing can happen!  Public Universities!

Right now, PSU is in 'Party Mode,' something that's been resonating with most Universities in the US recently.  But we do so many other things (academically, artistically, etc.) just as well, and probably better.  If there is a change to be found, it begins with you.  Grab a handful of people and start doing things you love.  Write plays, tape experimental films, write that academic paper on the influence of Douglas Adams on contemporary scientific research.  Do it!

Overall, I guess my four years at PSU weren't so bad.  I made many friends, quite a few I imagine will be lifelong relationships, and I've worked with a number of organizations and clubs on a plethora of events.  There is a lot of awesome stuff going on here, you just have to look.

And as for the 'bad energy' I've sensed here: move off-campus and tune it out (or move into Schreyer's housing).  I hate to say that, because so many awesome, beautiful things can be done easier living on campus, but it's something I probably should've done for the sake of my sanity.

And hang out in places open 24 hours-a-day.  You may never get to again.

My future?  I'll be at SUNY at Stony Brook working on a MA in Music Composition, and possibly a PhD.

Goodbye PSU, and thank you.  As much as I'm looking forward to commencement, I'm overall pleased with my development over the past four years.

I'm interested to see how my opinions will change tomorrow through the TLT conference, but looking over the day's events, I saw that three School of Music professors I had in the past are doing a lecture on video-gaming and real-life preparation.

I've been thinking about this for a few days now.  I remember when I was in elementary school, and video games were a thing a lot of guys did, but never really talked about much.  It was a geek thing.  Girls didn't like it, so guys would play it sparingly and rarely mention it.  But when a discussion would start, geekisms would take over.

We've seen a dramatic change over the past 15 years.  Walking through South Halls this afternoon, nearly every room was blaring with the sound of video games of every kind: the latest Madden, N64 Mario Kart, Atari.  This is an all male floor, granted, but it was unthinkable before that we'd live in a world where video games weren't just geek food, but items of social engagement.

Or art!  One thing we've overlooked greatly since the dawn of the game is the art behind it.  Sonic the Hedgehog, in it's heyday, was bright, vivid, and fast.  Final Fantasy 7 proved that video games could have amazing scores and phenomenal story lines.  The Wii has started a group of games created specifically to be aesthetically pleasing.  It's amazing that video games have finally come so far, and while I'm excited to see the whole new era it's ushering in, I take pause to remember the niche group that once surrounded it.  Before it became a part of mainstream mass media.

But unlike other forms of mass media, video games don't seem to really be overrun by money-making schemes.  (Or at least not very often).  We can blame E.T. for this.  And this is why video games may offer the greatest chance for the emergence of new art and social engagement in a way that many other modern forms of mass media, even social networking sites like Facebook, simply can't.  Between Microsoft's utilization of video and audio chat during gaming to the Wii's unique, active approach, we are not only seeing the dawn of gaming as part of the mainstream, but as way for people to express themselves (and not just by killing zombies).

In conclusion - I am so hyped for this conference tomorrow.

This ad just came out.  Mark Morford claims this is a good thing, as religious intolerance is shaking in its boots more than ever before.  Still, I'm sure I'm not the only one a little perturbed by this message.

How has homosexuality infringed upon my life?  People assume I'm gay and act like ignorant jerks.  But that's not my fault, and it's not the fault of homosexuality.  It's the fault of uber-conservative intolerance.

I was having this conversation about gay marriage with a couple of friends of mine at Eat 'n' Park a few days ago, explaining to them the free thinking community's stance on denying gay marriage on the grounds of the separation of church and state and the fact that most of this intolerance seems to stem from religion anyway.  Our waiter stopped us and explained that he'd been fighting the battle for a decade and he understands the church vs. state argument, but will continue to fight.

My alignment with the free-thinkers' stance (not all of them, just a chunk) was shattered in that moment.  There I was being solipsistic again (a state of mind and being that I absolutely despise beyond anything else).  I didn't take into account what the gay marriage movement meant for the gay community.  It's not entirely about marriage.  It's about equality and rights and social tolerance.  I think I agree with the waiter: although church and state should remain separate, this is one of those times when the government needs to step in and fix things.

From here on out, I'm an ally.  I'm getting a sense of just how important this movement truly is for homosexuals.  I'm worried that when this all breezes over (finally!), atheists will be the next target for American intolerance.  And I hope I'll have an ally then, too.

So, there you have it.  Badly paid actors: $1400.  Grass-roots campaigning: $250,000.  Realizing that shoving your archaic, intolerant notions of relationships and equality is actually weakening your stance against a social movement that you can't really stop anyway: Priceless.

"Rainbow Coalition?"  That's a storm that will dissipate faster than most people think.  They'll blow a lot of hot air in the meantime, maybe even strike a few landmarks, but the winds are changing.  The winds have been changing.

I went to a now annual concert designed by Mark Ballora called "Cross Currents," which mixes the edge of contemporary concert music and electronic multimedia and brought in performers and artists from the School of Music, the School of Visual Arts, and NYU.  I was impressed.

That's an understatement.  I recently won a major award for my piece for two player pianos, laptop, and pianist, "Conlon Nancarrow at the LHC," and I've never felt as far behind the curve as I do now.  But that's not a bad thing.  Now I have something to strive for, and nearly everything produced at this event was revealing, engaging, and breathtaking.

Look out for this concert next year.  It will astound you.

Google those artists, too.  My favorite piece was something the NYU New Music Ensemble created called "Domesticated Animalia" for flute, alto flute, clarinet, Max/MSP+Jitter, electronic tape, and live audio effects.

Awesome.  We need more of this at PSU.