January 2009 Archives

So I filled out one of these notes on Facebook, and I thought I should share it on here.  Something so trite turned out to be quite reflective, and looking back, it's interesting to see how I displayed myself in this... er... exercise?  Anyway, I thought it would be an interesting thing to post.

I posted 25 interesting or unusual things about myself.  I basically set out to write 25 post-secret notes in order.  It's interesting...

To accompany your read, here's some music, courtesy of the late Wesley Willis.



1. My favorite composer is John Zorn. He's the kind of composer who whacks you on the head a few times with a shovel, tickles you with a gryphon feather, and then starts smacking you in the face with a frozen tuna he stole from an indie porn star in France several years ago. And that's just the first 12 seconds. I like that in a composer.

2. Yes, I do hate whistling. It's actually somewhat painful for me.

3. It takes me a long time to get work done because I can't keep myself focused for long. A lot of my energy is wasted on, well, stuff like this.

4. I am an atheist who sings in a choir known for their gospel music. Ironic? It also has completely changed the way I approach my life and my... religion...

5. When I was a kid, I used to wake up around 6am on Saturdays, and my parents wouldn't let me downstairs until 7 or 8, so I'd lie in bed and create my own cartoon episodes with my favorite cartoon characters, and they always ended tragically.

6. Around the same time, I had a crappy tape recorder thing, and my sister and I would make up songs and recorded them. Then, I'd overdub her solos. Eventually, I learned how to hold down the record button just right and 'harmonize' overtop of what we'd already recorded.

7. I actually don't view my composing as 'composing.' 'Composing,' to me, has been this long-standing tradition of suddenly being inspired to jot down a beautiful melody and then inflating it into a massive expanse of brilliance. Instead, I string sounds together in ways that make me feel something. I feel more like a painter or a poet than a composer.

8. I actually have no clue what I want to do with my life. I know what I want to and have to do right now, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all I really have.

9. I still miss our old house, which is now a home for people with disabilities.

10. With the exception of musical rehearsals and the occasional 'bumping-into-someone,' I spend the majority of my time alone, and it bugs me from time to time.

11. I've actually only enjoyed one full-fledged 'dance' I've ever been to, and it was a Catholic school prom I went to with my then girlfriend. Before then, and since then, I've found every other dance to be, at the least, dissatisfying, which is why I have a lot of trouble sticking to or enjoying something involving, well, dance.

12. However, I love watching ballets. And not 'traditional' ballet, but modern ballet. I think ballet is vastly under-appreciated.

13. I forget things very, very quickly. I can barely remember high school.

14. Perhaps this is caused by some form of repression. I've never really felt totally happy about any educational experience I've ever had. Even at Penn State, where I've learned and done a ton, I'm always wondering if maybe there was somewhere better...

15. I hate working out. I've always hated sports, with the exception of the occasional game of tennis or soccer or a run around the block. But sitting down and watching football for hours on end makes me want to fall asleep.

16. I've also had very few jobs I've actually enjoyed. Dishwasher of Karadante's was one. Night-stocking Kuhn's was another. Among my least favorites is South Halls. Fighting to keep my job despite it conflicting with everything I do takes about as much work as the actual work I need to do, and then, I'm still not allowed to go over 20 hours a week. Who can afford a college education on that?

17. I'm happiest when I'm healthy and playing/composing music efficiently.

18. I'm actually afraid that if I lose my virginity, my creativity may follow. And after spending four years here, I'm increasingly concerned.

19. Half my family lives in Italy. The other half is scattered around the Northeast US. I rarely see them.

20. I don't like the culture that is developing today. A society based on our current demographic's culture is simply not sustainable. And I don't think many people my age realize this. Or care.
(addendum: "our current demographic's culture" refers to the trend in our current age group of devaluing intelligence and self-control and ignoring personal responsibility because "we're college students." I feel that at 18-19 years old, some form of adulthood is or should be expected of all American individuals. With some obvious exceptions.)

21. My parents were supposed to name me Antonio. It's an Italian tradition to name your first born son after his grandfather. Instead, my parents decided they'd rather name me themselves, and I'm glad they did. No offense to my grandfather.

22. Despite my hatred of whistling, I can listen to almost anything else in a piece of music thanks to years of listening to Zorn, Xenakis, and Stockhausen.

23. I can never seem to find the time to read in college, and it bugs the hell out of me.

24. I don't like looking at pictures of myself, which is why my profile pictures are often pretty distorted.

25. I love beautiful redheads. A lot. And I blame Tex Avery for this.

I found this interview with a self-taught violinist who has performed everywhere from subways to gas stations.  This is becoming an intriguing subculture.  And he says some interesting things about human experience.  Scroll to Henrique Prince and click play.  It's pretty good.

This is why I love Robot Chicken.  Sometimes.

In honor of the music store, a dying remnant of a past culture.  I've heard rumors that City Lights, the last music store in State College, isn't doing too well.  Despite the current state of commercial music, please go support them.  I hate seeing that culture disappear from our society, and iTunes just isn't the same.  Not to mention that the man who owns the store is pretty awesome.  Everytime I've walked into that store, whether I bought something or not, I've left feeling somewhat enlightened.

So to City Lights, and all meatspace Music Stores, I dedicate this video.  And by music stores, I don't mean Circuit City or Best Buy or Walmart.  I mean that record store down the street, the one where people who actually care about what they do.  City Lights is a great example; Used CD shops; Virgin Records!  Forums of our knowledge and enlightement few in my generation have actually immersed themselves in.  But times change, and so must our business methods.  Though I will miss buying John Zorn CDs right off the shelf.

This past weekend, and the past two years, I've been performing with Dr. Leach's "Essence of Joy," the School of Music choir that specializes in music of the African-American Vocal Tradition.  Essence, which is often somewhat mistakenly labeled as a gospel choir, has really transformed my life and introduced me to things I'd never thought about before.

We sang at an elementary school this past weekend, and I learned firsthand how to engage a collection of little kids.  Our performances in churches introduced me to how intensely many people hold on to their faith.  Dr. Leach's leadership has influenced my daily encounters with other people.  And I haven't even started on what I've learned musically.

People think it's odd that I, as an active, dedicated atheist, continue to devote myself wholeheartedly to Essence of Joy.  Essence proves the power of musical performance and human interaction.  Essence embodies what I can only describe as the human spirit.  And, yes, this does often leave me in a bit of an existential limbo: I don't know what this spirit is, whether it's a construct of the mind or the culmination of biological processes or whatever else, but I have become a stronger person from working with this choir, and I've seen many audience members undergo the same transformation.

Dr. Leach's job is about continuous transformations.  The music is the medium, but it's not necessarily the end result.  He continually tells us that we'll never know what effect we have on others.  And I'm gradually discovering he's right.

Dr. Leach has taught me, and the many other students he's taught, about a new level of responsibility and dedication.  For me, Essence is a religious experience, too.  While I'm not gaining proximity to any belief or deity, I am making connections with other people, powerful bonds that, for those moments of musical performance, are nearly unbreakable.  It has strengthened my grasp on humanism, and has made me whole lot happier to be alive.

If you haven't seen Essence (or Essence II or the Alumni Choir) perform, I highly encourage you to do so.

I will be writing more on this choir as I continue my final year here at Penn State.  To say Essence of Joy and Dr. Leach had a powerful impact on my life and education would be a terrible understatement, and I am largely indebted to this experience.

Found this online and thought someone would get a kick out of it.  It's an episode of "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law" (which 'stars' Stephen Colbert) about schools teaching evolution.  Very ironic presentation, especially given recent court rulings and proceedings and stuff.  Hurray Colbert.

Bigger update coming soon.

Yes, I stole this from Dean Brady.  And, no, I cannot help myself:

What an interesting inauguration yesterday.

Let me get this out of the way: I was extremely surprised and elated to hear four virtuosos performing and commissioning a piece of concert music for Obama's inauguration.  I thought Williams' composition, although basically a theme and variations on "Simple Gifts" (which, after Copland, why try?), the piece had some absolutely wonderful moments that I didn't expect out of Williams, and the piece on the whole was quite enjoyable.  Hopefully, Obama's support of art (and even poetry!) will continue through his presidency.

But it seems to go along with his plans to make more 'public works' jobs.  That was the most stern I have heard him in speech.  I am curious as to how drastic his initial changes will be.  The fact that he sees our country in a state of crisis indicates some form of emergency.  Although I think I trust Obama now, I hope he doesn't do anything too unreasonable (for our benefit or not).

One word stuck out in his speech: responsibility.  That's a word I haven't heard much of recently.  I think we have lost our sense of responsibility to ourselves, our nation, and each other, and I think Obama's right.  If we don't regain our sense of responsibility, we just won't go anywhere.

However, there were moments when I felt Obama leaned away from Patriotism into a sort of Nationalistic stance.  He's not just looking to return the US to a state of power, but to the state of power.  As of now, I trust, him and I can't wait to seem his ideas begin to manifest, but I'm keeping my eyes open just in case.

And, yes, there was a little mishap with the swearing in (of which I've heard every possible angle of online.  Google it...), and his speech was only 20 minutes long (I seriously expected quite a bit more).  But I think it's what America needed to hear.

Thanks to Amanda Weber for the link.  Enjoy.

I'm taking COMM 100 this semester, a course on the issues of mass communication.  As I was sitting through lecture this morning, I began thinking of the ways media tries to grab our attention.  Over the past hundreds of years, mass media has done more than transfer information: it's discovered ways to pull all of us into its modes of thought and reactions.  Advertisements yank at us in subtle ways the few of us are always conscious of.

Let's step back to Greek culture.  When someone wanted to talk to the gods, they went to an oracle, who would often do drugs and report back her visions.  These people would be the only ones who could talk to the gods; they held information that only they could truly convey.

Fast forward to the 'Dark' Ages, and even Ancient Rome.  Literacy is at a low, and the only way people can experience religion is through the veil of what priests tell them.  The Gutenberg printing press changed that, although churches' interpretations of biblical passages are still highly regarded today.

And MTV was once (and still is) marketed as the vehicle for social and cultural definition among America's youth.  I remember their shows and commercials in the 90's about people defining themselves through how they dress and act.  (And a lot of my contemporaries seem to take a lot from the portrayal of American life in "reality" TV shows, also a product of MTV).  Even Nickelodeon did this.

And then the portrayal of life in alcohol and cigarette ads.  I'll be honest: if I see an ad with someone relaxing on a sofa, sipping a gin and tonic, I'm going to buy a gin and tonic that week.  That represents a peaceful, contemplative lifestyle to me, all thanks to the media.  We were shown old advertisements for toothpaste (which is still marketed as 'your only way to prevent tooth decay'), and it's amusing how many things are marketed using fear or even inconveniences (OMG!).  But what takes the cake for me is the news.

Thinking back over the last four years, I'll estimate that 97% of the Daily Collegian issues I saw had a story related to football front and center, above the fold.  The newspapers are 70% sports, and the news we're provided with isn't always relevant or meaningful.  This defines our modern college culture, or at least for Penn State: sports, sports, sports, a commedian visited, Spanier said something, sports, sports and some random band from Detroit.  I remain unsure whether the newspaper displays or defines the culture, or if it's simply a vicious cycle.

Even in the 'professional' newspapers, though, this is of extreme concern.  All the coverage Obama got makes me curious how much thought people actually gave to his issues (not to mention Ron Paul's media blackout), and the sudden disappearence of WMD's from newspaper articles a few years ago, and how little coverage Bush's last days have been getting in lieu of an incoming president.   This is important stuff, and we're being pushed away from it.

And that's my question: media has given us so much in the way of interaction and information, and yet it still has the power to transform our mindset and thought structure.  Can we truly trust the media we surround ourselves with?

I'm not suggesting that recent conspiracy theories (fluorine, 9/11, Paul McCartney) are true, but perhaps they do have something to them.  And it creates even more fear: if we're not told what's actually going on when it's going on, and we're presented with a view of it through a broken kaleidiscope instead, what are we really gaining from modern mass media?  Is it really any different than feudal peasant life?

My answer is yes and no.  Big Mass Media (CNN, Fox, MTV, basic cable, etc.) is probably poisoning us to some degree, but the emergence of the internet, especially in its current form, leaves a lot to be uncovered.

For your viewing pleasure, I've provided a performance of Oingo Boingo's "Wake Up (It's 1984)."

So I read about this in the Daily Collegian today.

I'm not surprised.  Heck, I used to wear a work-out shirt when I'd play DDR. 

My question is: If we're seeing the negative side effects of athletic performance by playing the Wii, are we seeing the positive side effects, too?  I know I won't be burning 200 calories every time I play We Skii, but are there benefits, and to what extent?

Dear MTV,

Twenty or so years ago, there was an emerging televised art form known as 'the music video.'  Perhaps you've heard of it?  Anyway, music videos have been disappearing off of television to make room for reality shows such as "Bromance."

Shows of this caliber remind me of how happy I am to not have a television.  Had I a television, I would undoubtedly be browsing television music channels for videos only to crushed under the pile of burning ashes that is reality television.  As a 21-year-old college student, I am unclear how this applies to my demographic, or even why.

There was once a time when music was seen as a part of culture, but it has now passed into the oblivion of vanity thanks to shows like "Bromance."  Thus, I will probably avoid watching television until some brave general television station starts airing prime-time music videos again.

Sincerely,
 - Ryan

This game came out for the Playstation years ago, but is almost impossible to find in the states.  It has an amazing!!! score, and it's one of the greatest games I've ever played (I had a demo when I was younger).  I've, er, "hacked" into a different version, but I've been yearning to get my hands on an official release since the sixth grade:



The game is called IQ: Intelligent Qube (or Kurushi in Europe and Japan).  The object of the game is to get rid of all the normal and green blocks without touching the black ones or falling off the edge.  Or getting crushed.  And the green blocks turn into bombs activating a 3x3 area of the playing field.

Why am I telling you about this?  Because the game is unlike anything I've ever seen.  And yes, it is that good.

Mom, dad, you have been warned.

I stole this from FormsMostBeautiful.  Recently, Richard Dawkins worked with Ariane Sherine to print a slogan on buses, "There is probably no God.  Now stop worrying and enjoy your life," in response to Christian-based advertisements warning non-believers of the fires of hell.

Even in the US, you rarely hear public anger toward these Christian-based messages, yet in Britain, and unsurprisingly, a number of people have already disclosed their objections.  The Advertising Standards Authority now has to decide whether this is offensive and if it should be banned.  The approach to dealing with this may include deciding whether the statement is fact, which means British courts are not only toying with censorship of an otherwise unoffensive text, but also possibly deciding whether or not God exists.

Me?  I think this is hysterical.  Why is this happening?  Shouldn't we be over these differences by now?  I support printing the slogan, especially given the 'publicity' that Christianity has achieved recently, but these objections are almost absurd! 

I am happy, however, that this is happening in Britain.  Were this campaign in the US, the Atheist Bus Campaign would probably already be fined and ridiculed.  If anyone, however, would accept the rotten tomatoes and banana cream pies, I would probably support this venture.  I personally like the slogan, and I think it shows just how ridiculously serious people are about their worldviews.

I just hope some friendly discourse results from all this.  That would make all the absurdity worthwhile.

On my way to State College, I was watching WALL*E on my Zune (which I don't entirely recommend for numerous reasons.  I'm only starting to enjoy my Zune...  More on that later...) when I started thinking about the ending.  Here are the credits, the first few minutes of which is a great representation of what I'm getting at:

Before I pay tribute to my favorite RSS feeds, I should mention that the reason I've been writing so often is I've been working on a project.  One of my jobs is to record myself reading texts for a children's program (ITSS, which is a 3rd-6th grade computer tutorial to teach reading comprehension using the 'Structure Strategy'), and, if you can imagine recording around an hour of extended texts and grammatical errors all day, I tend to get distracted.  So, there you go.  My current 9-5 motivated me to write more in my blog.

It also prompted me to read more.  Here's a few 'feeds' (of various forms) I've begun relishing in:

FormsMostBeautiful - Peter Buck, a graduate student in PSU's Educational Theory and Policy program, has an excellent blog detailing the battle against Intelligent Design and describing recent technological developments.  It's his personal blog, and I find it very eye-opening and enjoyable.

Mark Morford: Notes & Errata - Mark Morford, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, writes a really contemplative and thought-provoking column.  No matter what he writes about, or how, I always end up feeling somewhat brighter and more enlightened.

Married to the Sea - an absurdist comic, updated nightly, where old (or old-looking pictures) are topped with hysterically tounge-in-cheek captions.  Awesome.

PostSecret - If you haven't heard of this, go be enlightened.  Now.  I'll wait.

Saturday Morning Breakfast - I stole this one from Dean Brady.  Vulgar?  Yes.  Funny?  You bet!

Point of Inquiry - A bi-weekly? podcast exploring modern naturalism and such.  Great podcast.

Also, I'm not sure where it is (I found through the Zune program), but Barack Obama has a weekly podcast address to the American people.  It's kind of a cool new take on the weekly address thing (although I heard that Bush had one, too).  Hey, if he can't have a BlackBerry, at least he has his podcast...


Please feed me any recommendations!

And now: off to State College!

Remember Steve Burns?  From "Blues Clues?"  He's a rock musician now, and (while I'm still waiting on his next album), I found this video at Steve's website (which is, amusingly, steveswebpage.com).  He gives his audience laser pointers to choose where they want the show to go next.  I remember Beck tried to do this a couple of albums ago via DVD.  And many bands (Grateful Dead, etc) tend to play songs based on the mood of the audience.  But, and especially for a technologically heavy show, this is quite an intriguing and innovative idea.

Can we get this guy to come to Penn State before I leave?

And if you're a fan of the Flaming Lips, you should check out his last album, Songs for Dustmites.  It's actually an engaging and enjoyable listen.  I've posted a video to one of his singles below.
(I think of this song whenever I run through State College.  You ever see the dork running through black ice at seven in the morning?  Yeah, that's probably me.  Trying to act like Steve Burns.)

I'm not usually one to jump on the bandwagon.  So when my friends started tossing around the Joker's infamous catch-phrase, although I initially sort of agreed to their logic, I didn't really ponder it.  While I'm certain that thousands of blogs like this have already come out, I feel the need to align myself with what may be one of the most important questions reverberating through the atmosphere:

 

Why so serious?

 

In the past two weeks I've been home, I've engaged in many conversations with friends and family members on the subject of morality and religion.  And often, even though I intend these conversations to be, well, conversations, it always detours into a heated debate.  I'm a very conceptual person, and the majority of my arguments and jokes are misconstrued and either taken too literally or warped out of context.  The result: words are put into my mouth to make me look like an ass, and neither of us have actually gained anything at all.  So much for conversation.

 

But it goes beyond that.  Last semester, we were played a Beethoven piece and asked our opinion, and I replied that it wasn't a very good piece and it showed how control of musical material as dictated by the music theory of the Classical Era can wring true expression and artistic freedom from a piece of music, even from a highly talented composer.  (And often, this rings true today, too.)  The retort?  "Well, Ryan's just weird."  No, I'm not kidding.  And that was the end of the discussion.

 

And at work, where my fellow students would get angry at me for not being able to instantaneously refill the tater tots when they run out at the buffet.  Or when I was at a gas station on New Year's Eve and a man literally spent ten minutes interrogating the 17-year-old attendant on why the store didn't have the lottery ticket he wanted to buy.  Or when a couple of my friends and I went to see The Spirit and Yes Man, and throughout the nearly the entirety of both movies, we were the only ones who laughed.

 

Alan Bloom wrote a book in the 1980's called The Closing of the American Mind, in which he discussed how students in elite educational programs were becoming more and more apathetic and less passionate about what they do.  Throughout much of American culture, and especially my own generation, I'm actually finding the exact opposite.  Although I rather doubt it, perhaps my viewpoint may stem from the social context he's describing.  But nevertheless:

 

I'm not trying to demean passion.  I think it's great that people find something they stand for.  And I will admit that to a certain degree, it really is human nature to be self-centered.  (In fact, it's probably natural throughout all of nature).  But what frightens me is this overzealous solipsism that's been poisoning our society recently.

 

Who do we blame?  Do we blame modern politics, with its "my way or the highway" attitude?  Religiosity, with its continuing misconceptions and debasement of atheists, homosexuals, and various other groups of people?  The Media, with its over-romanticized portrayal of people who don't know the meaning of the word 'stop?'  Or maybe its athletics, where people win or they don't matter.

Or maybe it all comes from somewhere much deeper...

 

Whatever the answer is, we'd better find it quick.  A positive attitude toward each other is the only way we're going to pull through this moral recession.  And while I'd prefer to leave one specific solution out, I do have a good question for us all to start with in 2009:

 

Why so serious?

I read a couple of articles last semester that listed Penn State as one on the most financially stable educational institutions in the nation, and that State College would suffer far less than many other places.  Then I saw this today:



I suppose this is definite proof that we are indeed in a recession.  And although I'm not a huge fan of everything Dr. Spanier does, I'm glad to hear him explaining PSU's upcoming financial situation, and especially the reasons behind it, and how he's continuing to help out students and employees.  And I like his idea of freezing everything for a year instead of chopping out an entire section of the curriculum.  (Or, at least, I hope they aren't.  I'd really like to know if they are.)

And he does make a good point: PSU really has had pretty stable pay raises for its employees (from what I've heard from my father and professors); although not always phenomenally high, they are making efforts to support their employees and students.

I guess it's just proof that none of us, even students, are immune to the downward economic spiral.  And to think, when I foretold this to my parents two years ago, they laughed at me.

Hopefully we won't end up like Igor Panarin's prediction.  We've pulled through once before, perhaps even two or three times.  There's a reason America is the 'center of the world,' and I'm sure it's more than economic and militant.

Although I'm not a big football fan, I'd be interested to see how this year's income from football games and memorabilia compares with past years.  I'm also interested to see how things will change when Obama takes presidency.

(By the way, I heard on NBC yesterday that President Bush set aside an enormous expanse of ocean as a federal wildlife sanctuary as an attempt to be remembered as the 'environmentally conscious' president.  Isn't this the same guy who tried to convince us to drill in Alaska?  Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent gesture and a great way to end his campaign, but history books had better not use it to erase the past eight years).

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?hpid=topnews

The link above is to an article about a social experiment in which Joshua Bell, violin virtuoso, who has sold out concerts across the world, plays Bach violin pieces as a 'street musician' in a Washington DC subway lobby for about 43 minutes.  In comparison to his sold out concert the night before, with tickets starting at $100, he accrued a total of around $32, and received barely a few claps.

I'm not sure what to draw from this.  On the one hand, people were rushing to work, so anything beyond A-to-B would exist beneath the radar.  However, what are they missing, and is this 'okay'?

It reminds me of something from Tenacious D's "Pick of Destiny" (please excuse the extreme vulgarity (but, hey, at the very least, it is a variation on Bach)):