Sorry for my lack of posting the past, what, month?  Two months?  Everything fades into ambiguity at this point.  Finals, papers, projects, etc.

Last night, I went to a party, and on the way, I noticed the oddest thing: Redifer Commons, in South Halls, was totally empty.  Not a soul to be found.  Even the televisions were off!  Never in the past four years here have I seen one of our public spaces so totally empty!

That got me wondering: minus 24 hour businesses (Sheetz, Duncan Donuts, etc.), there aren't many all-day-and-night public facilities at our disposal here in the US.  These Universities are the few places I've heard of this phenomena in the US, although even places like Pitt have to close down for the students' safety.  We don't.  It's safe here!  (Mostly!)

And that's something to be exploited.  We students have the ability here to really work and collaborate all night!  The thing that drives me about PSU is that it always has something going on.  It's this perpetual motion that inspired "Conlon Nancarrow at the LHC," the piece I won an ASCAP award for this semester.  It's this continuous drive that pulled me through my four years here.  It's that boundless energy that kept me striving for more, and ultimately benefited me more than anything.

And then this morning, I went to the HUB to do the Classical Hour like I always do: 7am-9am.  And the HUB was closed.  Closed.  That's when the reality of graduation really hit me.  Now, they've acknowledged my done-ness as well.  It was one of the oddest realizations of my life.

Students, heed my advice: stay up late and do crazy things.  I spent more nights sober this year (as a 22-year-old) than I ever had before to work on projects and classwork, and I'd kick in work on random pieces or poetry or videogames or whatever else I could get my hands on.  While I could've been more productive, I also gained a wealth of knowledge of many different things.  This is the place where this type of thing can happen!  Public Universities!

Right now, PSU is in 'Party Mode,' something that's been resonating with most Universities in the US recently.  But we do so many other things (academically, artistically, etc.) just as well, and probably better.  If there is a change to be found, it begins with you.  Grab a handful of people and start doing things you love.  Write plays, tape experimental films, write that academic paper on the influence of Douglas Adams on contemporary scientific research.  Do it!

Overall, I guess my four years at PSU weren't so bad.  I made many friends, quite a few I imagine will be lifelong relationships, and I've worked with a number of organizations and clubs on a plethora of events.  There is a lot of awesome stuff going on here, you just have to look.

And as for the 'bad energy' I've sensed here: move off-campus and tune it out (or move into Schreyer's housing).  I hate to say that, because so many awesome, beautiful things can be done easier living on campus, but it's something I probably should've done for the sake of my sanity.

And hang out in places open 24 hours-a-day.  You may never get to again.

My future?  I'll be at SUNY at Stony Brook working on a MA in Music Composition, and possibly a PhD.

Goodbye PSU, and thank you.  As much as I'm looking forward to commencement, I'm overall pleased with my development over the past four years.

Gamer's Lament

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I'm blogging from the HUB.  Woot!

I'm interested to see how my opinions will change tomorrow through the TLT conference, but looking over the day's events, I saw that three School of Music professors I had in the past are doing a lecture on video-gaming and real-life preparation.

I've been thinking about this for a few days now.  I remember when I was in elementary school, and video games were a thing a lot of guys did, but never really talked about much.  It was a geek thing.  Girls didn't like it, so guys would play it sparingly and rarely mention it.  But when a discussion would start, geekisms would take over.

We've seen a dramatic change over the past 15 years.  Walking through South Halls this afternoon, nearly every room was blaring with the sound of video games of every kind: the latest Madden, N64 Mario Kart, Atari.  This is an all male floor, granted, but it was unthinkable before that we'd live in a world where video games weren't just geek food, but items of social engagement.

Or art!  One thing we've overlooked greatly since the dawn of the game is the art behind it.  Sonic the Hedgehog, in it's heyday, was bright, vivid, and fast.  Final Fantasy 7 proved that video games could have amazing scores and phenomenal story lines.  The Wii has started a group of games created specifically to be aesthetically pleasing.  It's amazing that video games have finally come so far, and while I'm excited to see the whole new era it's ushering in, I take pause to remember the niche group that once surrounded it.  Before it became a part of mainstream mass media.

But unlike other forms of mass media, video games don't seem to really be overrun by money-making schemes.  (Or at least not very often).  We can blame E.T. for this.  And this is why video games may offer the greatest chance for the emergence of new art and social engagement in a way that many other modern forms of mass media, even social networking sites like Facebook, simply can't.  Between Microsoft's utilization of video and audio chat during gaming to the Wii's unique, active approach, we are not only seeing the dawn of gaming as part of the mainstream, but as way for people to express themselves (and not just by killing zombies).

In conclusion - I am so hyped for this conference tomorrow.

This ad just came out.  Mark Morford claims this is a good thing, as religious intolerance is shaking in its boots more than ever before.  Still, I'm sure I'm not the only one a little perturbed by this message.

How has homosexuality infringed upon my life?  People assume I'm gay and act like ignorant jerks.  But that's not my fault, and it's not the fault of homosexuality.  It's the fault of uber-conservative intolerance.

I was having this conversation about gay marriage with a couple of friends of mine at Eat 'n' Park a few days ago, explaining to them the free thinking community's stance on denying gay marriage on the grounds of the separation of church and state and the fact that most of this intolerance seems to stem from religion anyway.  Our waiter stopped us and explained that he'd been fighting the battle for a decade and he understands the church vs. state argument, but will continue to fight.

My alignment with the free-thinkers' stance (not all of them, just a chunk) was shattered in that moment.  There I was being solipsistic again (a state of mind and being that I absolutely despise beyond anything else).  I didn't take into account what the gay marriage movement meant for the gay community.  It's not entirely about marriage.  It's about equality and rights and social tolerance.  I think I agree with the waiter: although church and state should remain separate, this is one of those times when the government needs to step in and fix things.

From here on out, I'm an ally.  I'm getting a sense of just how important this movement truly is for homosexuals.  I'm worried that when this all breezes over (finally!), atheists will be the next target for American intolerance.  And I hope I'll have an ally then, too.

So, there you have it.  Badly paid actors: $1400.  Grass-roots campaigning: $250,000.  Realizing that shoving your archaic, intolerant notions of relationships and equality is actually weakening your stance against a social movement that you can't really stop anyway: Priceless.

"Rainbow Coalition?"  That's a storm that will dissipate faster than most people think.  They'll blow a lot of hot air in the meantime, maybe even strike a few landmarks, but the winds are changing.  The winds have been changing.
Comm 100 is one of the strangest classes I've ever taken.  Everything I've learned in there sounds like a conspiracy theory, even though we're only studying the way everything works.  There's no conspiracy.  We're a debt-based capitalist democracy (which does sound a little pradoxical) and our economy really is driven by consumerism.  So it should come to us as no surprise that nearly everything we do is riddled with advertisements and endorsements to entice us to buy more.

I'm unsure whether to call this bad or good.  In fact, there are aspects of both in there.  Hopefully, I'll develop some cohesive overview of mass communication in our country by the end of the semester (and if I don't, I'm sure visiting Tokyo and Taiwan will help me reassess everything a little more effectively).

I found this video on YouTube by comedian Jon Lajoie.  In the words of Corky Romano, "It's funny 'cause it's true!"



I think the portrayed 'problem' with mass media is above the control of government and even, at this point, advertisers and big money-making machines.  The public supports simple, overly dramatic television shows with little meaningful content.  But that may be part of a feedback loop started and reinforced by these big companies.

This is yet another time when I don't know what to think.  The vast arrays of mass communication and media available to us in the mainstream is astounding, but the amount of advertising the generally solipsistic programming approach is not.  Although I don't have a TV, when I'm by one, I'm glad Penn State provides programming from India, Italy, China, and South America.  I'm glad shows like "NOVA" are still around.

I think (and this is my theory, and many people, including my teacher, would probably debate otherwise) that this trend of mind-numbedness began in the 80's (maybe 70's, my time-line's askew) when televisions became affordable necesseties around the house instead of an expensive status symbol.  Televisions are still status symbols.  But they're also another step in the direction of the "American Dream."  From this stance, how television programming has become an embedded 'given' in our American culture is not so difficult.

Things aren't this way in Italy, and I'm curious how it is in other countries.  While there are celebrities around the world, I don't think anyone worships or follows their celebrities quite like America does.  I think this is bad.  If we follow celebrities, shouldn't it be their accomplishments more often than their 'problems?'  And we do, sometimes, but I more often hear about who broke up with who and "by the way, this movie they've been shooting for three years that's coming out next week" is a footnote.  If we're following actors and actresses and high income workers, the focus should be on their work, not on their private life.

This invasion of other people's existance is inhumane.  Mainstream Media becomes a virtual petting zoo.

Something I've learned from being picked on from elementary school and throughout college - when you start going out of your way to pick up and exploit every single characteristic 'problem' or 'in consistancy' about a person, unless you're paid to do so by that person him-/herself (like a psychiatrist, or as part of a BDSM session), you need a life.  This exploitation is, in my opinion, one of the ugliest sides of our culture: it shows us as lazy, boob-tube sucking, malignant tumors soaking up and reinforcing and false reality.  There are times to do that (like ARG's), but not like this.

But in the general use of mainstream media as a consumerist goldmine (which it kind of is), it's not necessarily bad in and of itself.  But we have to be careful.  When we start significantly sacrificing art and worldviews as part of a congolomerate money-making scheme, which we are, some things ought to be reassessed.  But I'm not quite sure what yet, so I'm keeping my cards to myself.

Cross Currents

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Just a quick post.  Sorry for the lack of updates...

I went to a now annual concert designed by Mark Ballora called "Cross Currents," which mixes the edge of contemporary concert music and electronic multimedia and brought in performers and artists from the School of Music, the School of Visual Arts, and NYU.  I was impressed.

That's an understatement.  I recently won a major award for my piece for two player pianos, laptop, and pianist, "Conlon Nancarrow at the LHC," and I've never felt as far behind the curve as I do now.  But that's not a bad thing.  Now I have something to strive for, and nearly everything produced at this event was revealing, engaging, and breathtaking.

Look out for this concert next year.  It will astound you.

Google those artists, too.  My favorite piece was something the NYU New Music Ensemble created called "Domesticated Animalia" for flute, alto flute, clarinet, Max/MSP+Jitter, electronic tape, and live audio effects.

Awesome.  We need more of this at PSU.

Free Will?

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It's my birthday, so I'm posting a video made by a redhead.

Actually, a friend had me watch it and answer a couple of questions: 1. Do you believe in the existence of free will?, and 2. If not, do you think it's good for people to believe in it?  I think it's a little intriguing something to post on the blog...



I've been trying to churn through "The Selfish Gene" in my 'spare time,' and it's changed the way I look at things.  Experience from the college campus has shown be how driven by hormones and genes college kids are generally, and every person has this expected set of actions ('personality,' although I think there's a number of people on this campus who have none...).  It's an action thing - I programmed myself to start working out and eating healthier, and voila.  I did, but I did so because the weight was affecting my health and self image negatively.  I agree with her - we have the imaginary notion of free will, but it doesn't actually technically exist.  At least, not the way religion claims it does.  Things are too tied down to internal and external pressures, and our social and environmental nets as humans are so complex that it's easy to see how something like free will could be expected, but it's not actually there.

I don't think it's good to believe in free will, but that's because I'm an idealist.  If we understood why and how we operate, we'd better be able to assess each other's actions and figure out why we're acting erratically or how we can improve our condition.  Of course, here enters the argument that "all human blood runs red," and we'd much sooner find rapists being cut loose because their genes made them do it.  Maybe their genes did make them do it.  But if we know to look for it and catch it early enough, that kind of crime may never have had happened.

In conclusion - no, I do not believe in the existence in free will as anything but an imaginary construct created by the incomprehensibility of the entirety of our surrounding factors, and yes, I think knowing we're predisposed to certain expected behaviors would benefit us as a society and a species, although there would initially be some some pretty nasty debates.
My time at Penn State is possibly coming to an end.  Before I leave, I want to do something I should have done years ago.

The student populations at universities across the country have become apathetic.  Education is not quite a first interest and specific communities do not benefit the whole.  Overall, the intellectual, cultural, and social atmosphere of the American university is rapidly becoming rank and stale.  There are oases, but many are too small and difficult to find.

Tomorrow, I will propose a new student organization to my composition professor.  This organization will be dedicated to improving the cultural, social, and intellectual climate of Penn State through impromptu and extensively planned artistic performances and discourse.  The club will be open to anyone interest in philosophy, art, performance, writing, thinking, or life in general.

There is intellectual discourse going on on this campus.  I'm sure of it.  But it's time we let this underground aspect of student life emerge and run free.  "Art Is Resistance" takes its name from Trent Reznor's "Year Zero," where it is a fictional organization of artists and thinkers dedicated to rebelling against the sleepy-eyed public and a nation-wide culture dominated by mind-numbing pastimes and an overall lack of critical thinking or openness to examination.

This will be the analogous to the Fluxus movement of the late 1900's, but with a heavy-handed agenda: to bring the world around us into awareness in terms of its shortcomings, problems, and inherent beauty and power.  I believe we can achieve all this through artistic performance.

Unlike other student groups, "Art Is Resistance" will focus on experimental and unconvential methods of performance that directly engage or surround the audience by crossing different schools of thought and media.  The internet is as powerful a tool as ever, and few times in the past has the outdoors of the campus been seen as a performance stage.

We live in a time when people are so locked into themselves that they forget how awestruck by the world and life in general we all once were.  I believe that the first step to reviving a true widespread academic community is artistic performance and intellectual discourse.

If I am here next year for grad school, this may be one of my big projects.  If you're interested in this organization, I will gladly take suggestions or support.  We will welcome with open arms.


Although perhaps not entirely what John S. Hall originally meant, I present the closing stanza of King Missile's "It's Saturday":

"If what I'm saying doesn't make any sense,
that's because sense can not be made,
It's something that must be sensed,
And I, for one, am incensed by all this complacency!
Why oppose war only when there's a war?
Why defend the clinics only when they're attacked?
Why are we always reactive?
Let's activate something
Let's f*** s*** up
Whatever happened to revolution for the hell of it?
Whatever happened to protesting nothing in particular, just
protesting!  Cause it's Saturday and there's nothing else to do!"

Galt's Gulch

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A quick google of the term presents a lot of websites, including this one, all dedicated to bringing the fictional land of "Galt's Gulch" to reality.  Much of this initiative seems to be propelled by libertarian ideology, which, ironically, I've heard several objectivist speakers between Penn State and YouTube distancing themselves from.  This movement is spurred by the obvious "socialist" skew that the Obama administration supposedly has.

Well, to a degree, yes, I can see how Obama's administration was seen as socialist (an amusing CNN broadcast last week discussed the events that deemed Obama a socialist no more).  If you dig up objectivist writings and readings, they're always speaking out on key governmental issues.  To have this movement suggested is, well, predictable.

Socialism isn't quite what it was 40-60 years ago.  Not that a state of total socialism is particularly desirable, as key problems rise fairly quickly (a famous socio-political web-meme claims, "Is it not impossible to see that all blood runs red?").  But basing our entire mode of existence on a monetary system isn't fool-proof either, especially when that economy is as flawed and front-loaded as ours.  From this standpoint, Galt's Gulch seems like the most logical decision.

It's interesting to see how Rand's philosophy plays out in reality, although I find absolute objectivism not perfect in of itself as well.  Not to mention, the supposed manifestations of objectivism in recent years haven't been all to popular (i.e. Ron Paul was pushed for a while).

Are the great intellectuals really leaving the world behind?  And what do they expect to find when they come back?  Will the country really be in shambles?  What's the grand solution here? 

Then again, Randy Newman foretold of the end of America, too (video below)...

Some days, I honestly just don't know.

In case you haven't read the Collegian, here and here are articles about the 'holiday.'  State Patty's Day isn't a whimsical part of the Penn State Experience.  It's an abomination.  If we spent as much time debating or rallying as we give to hooliganism, Penn State might be known for something more than Football, Ice Cream, Research, Alumni, and Parties.

We're in a difficult financial time, and our best solution is spending an entire day drunk for no reason?  If it were in active opposition for something, okay, impress me.  But in the words of Elizabeth Goreham, "You guys have got to grow up."

P.S. Biden announced last week that many of the troops we're pulling out of Iraq are going into Afghanistan.  Too little too late, or Bush 2.0?  Where's the outrage?

I Have No Words...

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I don't want to bring this up again, but I had a class this morning where we were discussing ways Penn State capitalizes on student body, and ways that it (in part or in whole and in some manner) discourages student drinking without exactly eradicating it.  Naturally, the conversation veered to State Patty's Day, which carried enthusiastic support from the vast majority of the students in the class (it's a 50-person gen-ed class, COMM 100).  That's when I turned off.

On this *wonderful* holiday, I was downtown after my 7-9am radio show mailing a score out for a competition. I was lucky enough to pass the Phyrst just as someone was being thrown out.  Yes, this was around 9:45am.  I was fighting my way through crowds of drunk college students.  It was like a badly directed zombie film.

It is impossible for me to justify devoting an entire day to nothing but drinking for the sake of drinking.  That's not a holiday.  That's not even a cultural event.  That's a waste of time.

I'm glad the university refuses to support it, but students need to realize that this isn't a joke: it's a downright shame.


I said before that in the Daily Collegian a few weeks ago, there was mention of a past 'holiday' in March that consisted of a day-long peace-sitting on the HUB lawn.  I'm surprised that whenever I bring this conversation up in COMM 100, students latch onto the State Patty's Day and completely ignore whatever that other thing was.  This is a serious problem with our generation.  We really need to change this now.

I'll let Jon Stewart show you what that looks like...

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