Michelle Weaver: February 2010 Archives

There have been a lot of times in my adult life where I have been told I'm not very nice. When I stop to think about it, I realize that it's a true statement. But there are a lot of times when I am nice, and there are a lot of times when I try to be nice only to be told that I can only be nice when someone else thinks I should be. I had one of those incidents this week.

I often do spontaneous things at work. Nice things, like bringing treats to work for everyone in the office. Like donuts, or birthday cakes. I love to bring in birthday cakes for everyone to enjoy and I planned to bring one in for one of my team members this week because she didn't care for the treat that had been brought in for the official monthly birthday celebration. I thought she deserved to be able to eat some pastry for her birthday too. It wasn't her fault she doesn't eat what was brought in, and she didn't mean any offense to the person who had baked the very delicious offerings. But in the end, she didn't get a piece of celebratory yumminess and I felt like that wasn't quite right.

A coworker was offended that I planned to do this because, and I will quote what I was told, "it smacks of favoritism", and she had someone tell me that whatever cake I brought in shouldn't be a "birthday" cake, but rather just a cake. Um, yeah. I'm stunned. Still, days later. Trying to write about this.

People wonder why I'm not always nice. This might be it. Everyone should be able to be nice when they want to be nice, not when it suits someone else.  And when people are not prone to acts of kindness, when they give in the urge to be nice, shut up about it because you never know when it might happen again.

I'm bringing in a birthday cake this week. I think to have everyone in the office able to enjoy a treat for their birthday except for one person is like telling that person they don't belong, and that is really wrong. Not to mention, I'm not the type to change my behavior to assuage someone else's screwed up sense of office politics. I don't play politics. I have seriously considered not only bringing in a birthday cake this week, but every week, and to have that birthday cake say Happy Birthday to the same person every week, but then that would be petty and mean, and goodness knows I'm not petty or mean. ;o)

Here's a piece of advice, if anyone bothers to read this. If someone puts forth a kind gesture, accept it. Don't look for ways it might be misconstrued. Don't try to find offense in things where none is meant. If I intend to offend you, you will know it. I promise.