A few months ago, I heard the term "teacup parenting" on the Jumping Monkeys podcast. (This concept is the antithesis to the Free Range Kids blog that Chris follows and shares with me.)
I suppose it's only natural to want to make things perfect and safe for our children, to not want them to hurt, to cry, to protect them from trouble and give them everything we never had. But the sum of our experiences, good and bad is what makes us who we are.
Life is not easy, and it's not always fair. My childhood was not an easy one. If she taught me anything at all, my mother, whose choice in language is probably a bit different in my own (at least around small children), taught me that, "Life sucks. Learn this while you are young, so it's not disappointing when you get old."
My mom is probably proud that the lesson, if not all the language--it was still someone cleaned up for this blog--has stuck. I have come to appreciate the adversity in life.
When I have gone without materials things, I have focused on relationships. When I have suffered a loss, it's made me appreciate the people around me. When I have experienced pain, everything else becomes less painful.
The truth is that the really important things you do in life are not easy. They do not come without risk. They might be painful. You might be uncomfortable. You might have to step outside of what you are used to doing.
I can't protect myself from those experiences. I can't protect my kids. I can't protect my friends. As much as I wish we could all avoid them, these are the "life sucks" experiences my mom was talking about.
I'd like to tell them that things all work out in the end, but I can't make that guarantee. I'd like to say these experiences will make us stronger, they make us who we are, and they bring us together, but I'm not sure how I can do that without trivializing all of the their "life sucks" moments which are real and powerful. So how do I say it?
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