Lessons for Girl Bullies

| 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

Karenna got in trouble at school.  I mentioned before that she's been having problems off and on with a friend who bullies her.  A few months ago she'd come home from school and cry for several minutes about the this girl bully.


This week Karenna had had enough and fought back.  Karenna ended up in time out, and the girl was not hurt, thankfully.  It was very out of character for her to react in such a way.  When one of Karenna's teachers asked her why she did it, Karenna responded, "I just didn't know what to do."

The teacher and Karenna reasoned the following two options for the next time the girl bullies her: she could tell a teacher or she could just walk away.  I was pleased that the teacher was so understanding and worked with Karenna on coming up with solutions.  Though, I have to admit, I was a bit worried that repeatedly taking option number one cause her to be branded a tattletale and open her up to more teasing.  (Of course I wouldn't share this with her lest she worry about the situation more or be afraid to tell a teacher about more serious things.)  Still, if she opted to just walk away, her friend may never learn that her behavior was wrong.

When your child has been hurt by a bully, your first reaction is to think of all the things you could say in retaliation to cut the bully down to size.  However, teaching those things to you child would just teach her bad behavior and reinforce that bad behavior in the friend.  Instead, I thought of something that would be a better lesson for both children...


"Karenna, if your friend bullies you, your should walk away," I said, "but you should also tell her, 'I don't have to play with you.  I could play with my other friends who are nice to me.' Can you do that?"

She nodded.  I suggested we practice it a few times so she'd remember.

"I don't have to play with you.  I could play with my other friends who are nice to me," she rehearsed.

"If you use this enough times when she bullies you," I said, "maybe she will learn that you only play with people who are nice to you."

No TrackBacks

TrackBack URL: https://blogs.psu.edu/mt4/mt-tb.cgi/12027

Leave a comment

Subscribe to receive notifications of follow up comments via email.
We are processing your request. If you don't see any confirmation within 30 seconds, please reload your page.

Search This Blog

Full Text  Tag

Recent Entries

A Mother's Work (Or, Why I Ordered a Kid to Play Video Games)
So for the holiday weekend Chris has been either upstairs on the PS3 or downstairs on the computer playing video…
A Mother's Work (Or, Why I Ordered a Kid to Play Video Games)
So for the holiday weekend Chris has been either upstairs on the PS3 or downstairs on the computer playing video…
Plants vs. Zombies Party: We're Having Ice Cream & BrainZ
Jude's party this year was a PVZ (PLants vs. Zombies) themed party. You would think that since the game is…