After perusing my previous post, I noticed that while most of the time I have my act together and exude something resembling confidence, I didn’t want my readership—which consists thus far to my knowledge of some close friends—to assume that I am—or at least that I perceive myself as—an infallible being—or at the very least, some superior authority.
So to that end, I have decide to break my single-day of writer’s block—single day is writer’s block to someone who is typically a blabbermouth as this readership of friends will attest—with a partial confessional of some of the mistakes I have made in the past. Here are my three whopping “Original Sins of Interpersonal Skills”.
As an ex-Catholic, ex-Lutheran, lapsed-Episcopalian, I’m not sure how well this will go, but what the heck, bless me, Readers, for I have sinned…
1. I have failed in finding something likable in every person. That is my fault; not theirs.
This is not my lapsed-religious guilt talking, this is a practical professional talking: I have tried to find something to like about everyone because it’s easier to resolve differences from common ground, but it takes a lot of searching for me with some people, and I must admit to failing on a few of them. However, now matter how bad they are, I still need to work with them.
2. I have prejudged a person or group before I even met them based on someone else’s opinion.
I let people give me what I thought was valuable intel before going into a confrontation with another person or group, like an general ready to confront the enemy. We all worked for the same organization; who’s the enemy here? All I did was listen to gossip and get pulled into civil war.
3. Worst of all: I have not spoken enough out in defense of my colleagues when others have misjudged them because I was afraid of what the consequences were to my own professional reputation.
For this one I am most deeply ashamed and most deeply apologetic. In failing to speak up, I have missed the opportunity to come to the aid of a coworker, be true to myself and my own values, and make my organization and my University a better place with more diverse ideas.
Allowing discourse and dissent is what allows creativity, innovation, and progress; it what makes us a University. It’s what makes us diverse. Failing to speak up in various situations has only caused me internal conflict.
Since this mistake, I have been actively involved in promoting diversity within the University. I have blogged about my involvement in the Commission for Women before. I am also part of the University Libraries’ Diversity Committee Bag of Tricks training. It’s based on the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Speak Up! program. For practical advice on how you can speak up, download their PDF today.
(Note that while you are not obligated to directly speak out in all situations, Speak Up! gives you ways to show your disapproval an draw the line more subtly.)
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