CRAMPIN' SAM doesn't find it funny--

He's got the chills, and his stool is runny!

If his house were a vomitorium, he'd certainly fill it...

All because of his Gram-negative bacillus!

DEHYDRATION JASON is drying up fast--

He wonders how long his diarrhea will last....

A Gram-negative bacillus has entered his gut,

And he wants to get out of this horrible rut!

DIANA DIARRHEA is sick at both ends--

She's hurling and pooping and burning up in her head.

Gram-negative bacilli don't seem to give up--

Now that they've found her, they're living it up!

GASSY SALLY has the trots just as much.

She won't bother eating, so don't offer her lunch!

An animal-like protist has made her its home--

Just go spray some Lysol and leave her alone!

GASTROENTERITIS LINUS is in severe pain--

It's tough to be jolly when one's bowels are inflamed!

The chicken he was pickin' must not have been deep-fried,

A perfect situation for a Gram-negative bacillus to reside!

JONI PNEUMONIA has phlegm in her lungs--

She's coughing and hacking and hating the bugs.

This relentless colony of Gram-negative bacillus

Has decided to reside in her breathing apparatus!

PARALYSIS PETE is becoming quite sessile--

He can't walk an inch; he can't move a muscle....

A sad situation is simply what this is--

Unfortunately due to a Gram-positive bacillus.