May 2012 Archives

Monday, May 14

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Official Closing Days for Summer -
Just a friendly reminder that I'm sure you already know - we are the team closers on the following days - Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.  Life Sciences covers Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays unless we make a swap 

Joke du Jour:
A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf.

He's always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night, despite clear skies, he made the prediction on the 6:00pm news broadcast that a violent storm was approaching. It would flood the town in which he and his wife lived. He warned the people to take proper precautions and prepare for the worst.

After he arrived home later that evening, his wife met him at the door and started arguing with him that his weather prediction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. This time, she said, he had made a terrible mistake. There wasn't a cloud anywhere within 10 miles of the village. As a matter of fact, that day had been the most beautiful day that the town had ever had and it was quite obvious to everyone that it simply wasn't going to rain.

He told her she was to be quiet and listen to him. If he said it was going to rain, IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. He had all of his Russian heritage behind him and he knew what he was talking about. She argued that although he came from a proud heritage, IT STILL WASN'T GOING TO RAIN.

They argued back and forth for hours , so much that they went to bed mad at each other.

During the night, sure enough one of the worst rainstorms hit the village the likes of which they had never seen. That morning when Rudolf and his wife arose, they looked out the window and saw all the water that had fallen that night.

"See," said Rudolf, "I told you it was going to rain." His wife admitted: "Once again your prediction came true. But I want to know, just how were you so accurate, Rudolf?" To which he replied, "You see, Rudolf the Red knows rain dear!"

Thursday, May 10

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Nothing for you today except a really bad joke (sorry for not having anything earlier this week, but with jokes this bad, you can see why!):

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?"
"Elation."
"And you, sir, how about the opposite of woe?"
"I believe that would be giddy up..."



Tuesday, May 8

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Sorry no blog yesterday.  No bad joke, either. 

No bad jokes today, either.  Send some in if you have some.  I need some inspiration!

Wednesday, May 2

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Steven on WPSU: (from Karla)
Listen to Patty Satalia's interview of Steven Herb, Director of the Pennsylvania Center for the Book, about his term as chair of the 2012 Caldecott Award committee! It airs this Firday morning on WPSU-FM at approximately 6:50 a.m. and 8:50 a.m. The story will also be available on the website: WPSU.org/radio.

Loan Periods

While we normally ONLY circulate AV materials and kits at the desk, we might occasionally lend out other materials on Workflows.  If you do, remember to check the due dates on each item as they may be different from the kit or video that is being borrowed at the same time.  The default loan period for periodicals is 24 hours and 2 hours for reference items.  A patron could be fined if he or she is unaware of when specific materials are due.

Looong Bad Pirate Joke:

So there's this Pirate with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush. At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. By the way, what did the chicken do?"





Tuesday, May 1

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Happy May Day! 

Today's Bad Joke: 

 A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

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