After reading through the draft of my Rhetorical Analysis essay, I came to pretty much the same conclusions regarding the strengths and weaknesses of my essay as my peer reviewers. As was stated by those who read my essay, I think one strength of my essay is my topic. It is a powerful topic that needs to be discussed and dealt with in todays society. I also provide a significant amount of analysis along with a detailed description of the commercial I am referring to.
That being said, my essay also had significant weaknesses as well, weaknesses that I will be sure to fix in my final draft. One weakness was that my thesis was a little unclear. As Taira pointed out, there seem to be many topics in my thesis that I wish to discuss. My intention is to go through each topic so that whichever topic is regarded as my thesis (or all of them), then I have discussed it appropriately. Jean brought up a great point as well, of which I am very thankful. She said that my essay lacked statistics and examples from credible sources, a logical argument. I agree completely and to rectify that I intend to incorporate a study I learned about in my Psych class to back up my argument.
Thanks to this advice, I hope to improve my paper dramatically.