Strengths and Weaknesses of my Rhetorical Analysis Essay

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After reading through the draft of my Rhetorical Analysis essay, I came to pretty much the same conclusions regarding the strengths and weaknesses of my essay as my peer reviewers. As was stated by those who read my essay, I think one strength of my essay is my topic.  It is a powerful topic that needs to be discussed and dealt with in todays society.  I also provide a significant amount of analysis along with a detailed description of the commercial I am referring to.
That being said, my essay also had significant weaknesses as well, weaknesses that I will be sure to fix in my final draft.  One weakness was that my thesis was a little unclear.  As Taira pointed out, there seem to be many topics in my thesis that I wish to discuss.  My intention is to go through each topic so that whichever topic is regarded as my thesis (or all of them), then I have discussed it appropriately.  Jean brought up a great point as well, of which I am very thankful.  She said that my essay lacked statistics and examples from credible sources, a logical argument.  I agree completely and to rectify that I intend to incorporate a study I learned about in my Psych class to back up my argument.
Thanks to this advice, I hope to improve my paper dramatically.

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