Warning: Avoid Death

There was a great story from the Associated Press today about a "Wacky Warning" contest. The winning entry was a warning found on a tractor, that said, "Avoid Death" which as the AP story said, are "words to live by." The print version had a quote by someone from a trial lawyers' association saying we shouldn't make fun of these warnings. As I've said before, I am not a lawyer (IANAL), but lighten up pal.

Whenever I see a story about this, I think about a trip I took to Ireland about 10 years ago. We rode bikes around one of the Aran Islands from where the ferry dropped us off to Dún Aengus, a Bronze Age fort which guarded Galway Bay. It's a traditional fort on about three sides (it's actually a round fort), with the fourth "wall" made up of a very long drop to the water. At the edge of the "cliff wall" there's maybe two warning signs that say something like, "Stay away from edge." At the time I remarked to my brother-in-law that truly I knew I wasn't in America anymore. If that had been a U.S. historical site, there would have been a three story chain link fence all along the cliff. That fence would have razor wire up top and be covered with signs saying, "Danger, stay away from cliff. Death or injury may result." That warning would have been vetted by dozens of government attorneys and have the international symbol of someone falling to his death from a cliff (you know there has to be one). Despite the barriers, the walls of signs, and the international symbols for someone falling to his death off of a cliff, some kid would still scale the 3 story fence, trip on the razor wire, and fall to his death resulting in a liability lawsuit claiming he wasn't clearly warned of the dangers.

Now please don't characterize my cynicism as an indictment of all trial lawyers and lawsuits. I think they're a valuable part of democratic capitalism. But do I think these warnings are getting out of hand? When most of a 30-second spot for an erectile dysfunction drug is warnings (including the big one -- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT), maybe it's time to decide how much people should be able to think for themselves and award Darwins instead of money.