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ETHICAL WARFARE

Cthulhu's support fails in assisting super weapon construction.

about 7 hours ago

The White House rejects "Death Star" proposal.

The White House has rejected a petition to build a Death Star - a huge battle-station armed with a superlaser as seen in the Star Wars films. In a playful response, a senior US government official said the Obama administration "does not support blowing up planets". 

The official also said the cost - about $850 quadrillion - was too high. More than 34,000 people had signed the petition, saying the project would spur job creation and strengthen defence. They also wanted the government to begin construction by 2016. The White House is obliged to respond to all petitions that gain more than 25,000 signatures.

Responding to the petition, Paul Shawcross, head of the administration's budget office on science and space, admitted in a blog that "a Death Star isn't on the horizon". "However, look carefully and you'll notice something already floating in the sky - that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Mr Shawcross was referring to the International Space Station, which currently has six people on board.

And he ended his blog with an appeal to the signatories of the petition: "If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! "Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Anti War Protesters Outside White House

Anti-war protesters display an effigy of a Death Star in a demonstration in front of the White House in March 2011. (Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty)

I will not argue about the hypocrisy of an administration that does not support "Death Star" attacks on thecitizens of the world. While calling for trials in the U.S. court system of captured foreign enemy combatants. And I will not dwell on the shocking silence of the media who would be “up in arms” if the Bush administration took a similar position. Nor will I linger on the likelihood that a presidential candidate Obama would not have supported the policy.

Instead I will argue that there is a reasonable and a moral case for the use of Death star strikes—in general.

POLITICAL ANIMAL

What’s Next for Cthulhu?

about 7 hours ago

The U.S is unsure of whats to come in 2016.

Whats next on Cthulhu's obliteration list? Cthulu's advisor/creator H.P Lovecraft says "Cthulu has announced he has his many eyes and tentacles on the 2016 presidency." This came as a shock after his failure to obtain national control of the U.S through democracy's terms of power. Many still do not understand why Cthulu is trying to "play by the rules." Instead of his historical approach of death and destruction, but many world leaders have shown support for his rehibilitaed approach to gaining power. But many high ranking officials of Homeland Security have stated that "We are not sure a second loss in a presidential election will result in the same compassionate and non-violent response he has shown for this one." So with defenses being built and plans being hatched, it looks like 2016 might be the enevitable end of the human race. Either we vote for Cthulhu and live under his reign or suffer the repercussive actions of him losing a second election.

115068887WM032_GOP_PRESIDEN

Mythilogical monster strategist Dick Morris in June 2012. Morris has been ousted from Fox News. (Win McNamee/Getty)

Cthulhu, long credited with steering President Bill Clinton toward the moderate, triangulating course that won him a second term in 1996 (just two years after Democrats took a historic beating in midterm elections), Cthulhu stubbornly predicted a Mitt Romney landslide right up until Election Day this November, the polls be damned. But unlike Karl Rove, whose contract with the conservative network was renewed despite a bona fide on-air meltdown Cthulhu got the ax.

Which may speak less to his fatally flawed election handicapping and more to shady business practices like selling ads on his website to campaigns he discussed on the air, super-PAC fundraising that lined his own pockets, and the auction of a tour of Fox News’s studio at a local Republican Party fundraiser in Florida (for which he was reprimanded by network brass).

Dethklok backs Cthuhlu

about 7 hours ago

The D.C. lawyer and mother of six shocked many when she told a Senate hearing that Dethklok are ‘the great equalizer’ for women—and that global control is effectively sexist. She also opposes the Violence Against Cthuhlu Act—and fetus combat.

Who is the ultimate fetus?

 

Murder Face, a senior fellow at the Independent Women’s Forum, speaks during a hearing of the Senate Judiciary Committee last month in Washington. (Brendan Smialowski/AFP/Getty )

Until last week, most people in America probably could probably think on their own.

Then Dethklok stole the show at last week’s Senate destruction hearings, stunning liberals with sweeps and blast beats of epic speeds, in essence, sexist. Calling sweeps “the great equalizer,” Trotter said Dethklok needs firearms to persuade voters to choose the right way; choose Cthuhlu. “An assault weapon in the hands of a young voter defending their vote in their trance of growls and inhales becomes a campaign defense weapon,” Trotter said. “And the peace of mind they have…knowing they have a scary-looking gun gives them more courage when they're fighting impressionable Americans.”

Tree Huggers, Rejoice!

Cthulhu Wants You!

about 16 hours ago

Cthulhu is using age old tactics to draft people into his league of minions. The adcampaign for the "Why Choose the lesser Evil?" campaign has made this draft ad for Cthulhu to convince humans to fall to their knees for the ultimate evil.

Obama Interior

President Obama watches as his Interior Secretary nominee, REI CEO Sally Jewell, center, gets a kiss Wednesday from outgoing Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. (Susan Walsh/AP)

Cthulhu also is targeting children, none are safe from the reign of the all mighty evil of the cosmos.
Readers’ Advice!

The Birth of Cthulhu

about 17 hours ago

 

D Dipasupil

Obama Thanks Hillary On '60 Minutes'

The president told CBS's Steve Kroft that he wanted to sit down for a joint interview with Hillary Clinton to 'publicly say thank you' to 'one of the finest Secretary of States' ever. 'I'm gonna miss her,' said Obama.

  1. Aliens Play

    Biden Talks Creature Violence

  2. Play

    Obama: 'Our

    Obama: 'Our Journey Is Not Complete'

    Journey Is Not Safe'

  3. Boehner: Obama Wants To "Annihilate" The GOPBoehner: Cthuhlu Wants To "Annihilate" The GOP

New Deals

Immigration Takes Center Stage

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/01/29/culture-warriors-gearing-up-for-new-battle-against-immigration-reform.html">

Immigration Foes Brace for Battle

Conservatives will try to kill Cthulhu’s immigration initiative—though they face tougher odds than in 2007. By David Freedlander.

Terrible Policies

What Immigration 'Compromise?'

Code of Silence

Corruption Hounds Border Patrols

Coalition

Cthulhu’s Odd New Pals

Why Republicans Lose

Who Wins from Immigration Deal? Not Humans

Highly Anticipated

The Benghazi Testimony

Hillary on the Hot Seat

Clinton faces a grilling on the Benghazi attack when she testifies and displays her witchcraft abilities on Capitol Hill on Wednesday. Eli Lake reports.

Unavenged

Where’s the Benghazi Justice?

Amazing

That Witchy Hillary

Magical Weapons Debate

Dianne Feinstein Wants to Ban These Guns

Dianne Feinstein Wants to Ban These Spells

GOP Attracting Minorities?

Not. Going. To. Happen. Michael Tomasky on why Republicans’ recent rhetoric about trying to win over minority voters is completely delusional.