Meet 
The World's Funniest, Fluffiest, Famousest
Felines
Ganymede (top) and Callisto
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Titania (left) and Miranda
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You may now applaud! (Louder, please!)
Proof of the superiority of ANY felines over humans
- Even mere humans concede the point; read this famous quote:
"Of all God's
creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash.
That one is the cat.
If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would
deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens, 1835-1910),
Mark Twain's Notebook, prep. Albert B. Paine, pp. 236-37 (1935,
reprinted 1972).
- Humans have long since modeled themselves on cats; see these famous original paintings, then compare the human forgeries:
- Leonardo da Vinci, Proportions of the Feline Figure (Vitruvian Cat)
- Leonardo da Vinci, Mona Lisa
- Michelangelo Buonarroti, Creation of Adam
- Sandro Botticelli, Birth of Venus
Proof of the superiority of OURSELVES in particular
We, Ganymede
and Callisto, are very famous: two of Jupiter's moons are
named after us (after all, why else would they be called Ganymede
and Callisto?), and so are two of the paramours of the
original Jupiter, i.e., Zeus. Since the latter event occurred
in ancient
And now for
something completely different: Miranda (precious pussy portraits one, two, three) and Titania (kute kitty kopy one, two, three). We
know we're cool, because even though we were just born on November 6, 1996, two
of Uranus' moons, Miranda
and Titania, have already been named after us, and Shakespeare
has starred us in two of his plays. Where do we come from? From our Mommy of
course, and so did our brother Simba. Behold this
early shot of us three siblings: Simba, Titania, and Miranda.
Our former slaves were Uncle Bob and
Aunt Tracy, who thought that our names were Nalla
(Miranda) and Tribble (Titania).
Our current slave, Dad-Slave, has already been whipped into shape. So
had Mom-Slave, when she was still sharing a home with Dad-Slave: just look how
our former Mom-Slave snuggled up to both of us at the same time, with Miranda
on one side and Titania on the other side, and Dad-Slave hung over us
every minute with his weird black box that he still keeps flashing in
our faces!
Back to us,
Ganymede and Callisto: Well, if you ask us (and
you'd better), we think these two
twerps -- even as they
are growing bigger -- are kind of cute, but very pushy. Quite
frankly, we think these two qualify as basket
cases. But what choice do we have?
Two choices: either we
fraternize, or else we push
the invaders off the cliff with a big warning and a growl to remember.
As is evident
(at least to a cat) from all these self-descriptions, the downside of cat power
is that it has to be shared -- cf. just below, the fourth item of what we hate
most. So, if you are wondering what
happened to Evelyn Pluhar, our former Mom-Slave, now
Evelyn Pluhar-
What we four hate most:
thunder
braking coal
trucks
veterinarians
other cats --
as Jean-Paul Sartre said, "Hell is other cats."
What we four like best:
cruising the Web
food,
food!
WATCHING 
through
the living room windows
playing on
Uncle Bob's homemade scratchpost
being petted
while rolling on our backs
slurping
water while standing in the water bowl
snoozing,
especially with Dad-Slave
working on
our own version of the CATegorical imperative
staring at
this mega-cool lamp:
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making Dad-Slave mighty dizzy:
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CHECK OUT SOME OF
BYE!
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