Dan G

Everyone Gets Laid

203 Bangher Ave.

Canigitsum, Wisconsin 53703

 

 

Ms. Lauren Cotugno

J. Spew, Inc.

302 Leever Rd.

Skokie, Illinois 49632

 

 

Dear Ms. Cotugno,

 

Are you tired of having those same boring parties?  From the dull office party to the uneventful celebrations I am positive that the dreariness is getting to you.  Do you want people to be excited when they are coming to one of your parties?  Well let me be the first to invite you to join the excitement with “Everyone Gets Laid.”  With our outrageous party packages there will always be excitement in the air from setup to cleanup.

 

“Everyone Gets Laid” specializes in supplying our customers with their dream party.  We can turn an ordinary hangout party into one of our critically acclaimed “420 Party.”  Although good marijuana is hard to find these days we have developed our own strand that keeps the life of the party going (free sample enclosed).  We have been known to turn a traditional dance party into one of the most slamming “Rap Video Parties” known to man.  From the big booty ho’s, to the Bentley’s, to the hot tubs, we supply it all.  The fun doesn’t stop there.  Mafia parties, Fraternity parties, and my personal favorite, High-School House parties are just a few of the other parties that can be selected.  I know that this all seems expensive, but you can throw the party of your life for just ninety-nine ninety-nine.

 

So don’t be the one throwing the mind numbing get together.  Excite your guests with a party from “Everyone Gets Laid.”  Your parties will be the talk of the town and your popularity will soar.  If you act now, any of these parties can be available on stretch pay for three easy payments of $19.99.  No, that was not a typographical error you will save over thirty dollars if you act immediately.  Be the first to call 1-800-GET-LAID and schedule your party today.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Dan G

President

 

P.S.  The first fifty people to schedule parties with us get a free big booty ho sent to their office.  So act now.

To Memo