Onion Announces Change in English Grammar

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Finally the dream of all presciptivists comes true as the U.S. Grammar Secretary mandates a complete overhaul of the English word order, apparently back to the Old English period (but without the messy archaic case and verb endings).

Obviously, it's a great demonstration of the futility of mandating grammar rules on a long term basis. Personally, I don't think the grammar secretary went far enough - I would have liked to have seen the restoration of all eight original Indo-European cases.