PSUGAL

Today is a day to celebrate Moms but we must always remember that the title is earned not conferred; anyone can give birth but it takes someone special to be a true Mom.  I had a wonderful day, took my mother-in-law out to lunch then played in the sun with my Beanie.  After a LONG drive home I was tired and wanted to take a nap - it was Mother's Day, I had earned a nap right?!?!  As I settled in I heard the Bean knock on the door and ask for "MumMum" and I, I am ashamed to say, ignored her.  My dear husband stepped in and I rolled over to sleep.  When I woke up two hours later she was already in bed telling bedtime stories to her duckie and elmo.  My stomach sank and I felt like a failure.  When my little girl called for me I rolled over and went to sleep.  There will be a day in the not so far future when she doesn't call me to play anymore and is too big to crawl into my lap - when that day comes I know I will yearn for her to knock on my door saying "MumMum"  and so I committed the ultimate Mommy no-no and went in to wake her up.  We snuggled, sang Ba Ba Blacksheep and I kissed her boo-boos.  I held her for over half an hour, drinking in her toddlerhood and not wanting to ever forget how it feels to hold her in my arms.  While I sometimes claim SuperMommyhood for juggling my job, relationship and life I realized today that I cannot even claim the Mommy title unless I also answer the calls for "MumMum" even when I am tired - especially when I am tired.  Tonight I am acutely aware of the Mothers who can never hear their son or daughter call out for them again, who would give their own life to trade places with their child, who are mourning this day rather than celebrating.  I am going to try to be a better Mom because I only have one chance to get this right.  She is growing faster than I can comprehend and soon she won't be calling me to play and won't need me to kiss her boo-boos.  So while I can't stop her from changing I can earn my "Mommy" title and make sure to not ignore any more "MumMums" because I will miss them more than I know when they are gone.    

I have been slowly moving toward vegetarianism for some time now and since reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan my journey has picked up speed but the catalyst for veganism came as a shock as it was a road I never expected to travel - for no other reason than I love cheese!  Cheese with a good crusty bread and a mellow red wine are my idea of heaven but now I will have to find alternative ambrosia.  My little, not quite, two year old has suffered from chronic ear infections and runny noses for seven months now.  She has taken just about every antibiotic they could pump into her and undergone surgery to unblock her ears but nothing has worked to alleviate her pain.  As a result she now has severe speech delays and I have had to contact an Early Intervention Specialist to begin speech therapy.  If I could trade places with her I would but instead I am left to comfort her, hold her as she cries at night and act as her interpreter to the world - a burden I willingly bare albeit with an aching heart.  With a second round of surgery proposed I had had enough, something was not being investigated and my scientist mentality as well as motherly love and instinct couldn't stand it any longer!  And so I began investigating the food-body connection and have begun discussing allergies with my daughter's ENT.   Surprisingly, he was very receptive and even eager for the discussion, saying he would much rather uncover what is causing her condition rather than jump into a second round of surgery if at all possible.  For now we have eliminated all dairy from her diet and will continue to do so for the next two-three weeks.  I am also keeping a food-reaction journal to see if there is any connection between her intake and behavior and/or symptoms.  If nothing changes, we will move to wheat and continue with this intentional reduction diet until the time we determine what she is allergic too or that her symptoms are unrelated to food intake.  I have discovered a whole world of dairy free foods but would love some recipes to augment our repertoire.  I have invested in cookbooks but would much rather utilize "tested" recipes so any suggestions would be much appreciated!    Sincerely, The Unintentional Vegan 

I've been tagged by my friend Lindsey. Lindsey is a fabulous friend I met on whattoexpect.com when we were both preggo with our baby beans!  She lives in Virginia and I am REALLY looking forward to seeing her at the wteville B-Day Bash!

The rules are as follows...
1. Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 10 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Random Facts about me:
1. I grew up in New England and am a DIE HARD Red Sox Fan!
2. My favorite food is good bread and a cup of tea
3. I was the valedictorian of my college class.
4. Office supplies are my secret vice ... sssh don't tell
5. I have been to Hawaii four times and love it more each time I go!
6. Clowns freak me out so Vegas was a hard experience for me :)
7. I broke my leg while bowling

1. Becci
2. Mike M.
3. Brandon
4. Allison
5. Mike B.
6. Shawn
7. John
8. Rachelle
9. Jaime
10. Amanda

Delicate Lily
Perched on the Precipice
Rain. Wind. Tremor. Fall.

Babbles enchant my farthest horizon and yet there is nowhere I would rather be than sitting here gazing into your blue depths.  
I wish for impenetrable cold to freeze this brief period of pure excellence.  
Can I extend your morning, drink in every dewy step and hold onto these ephemeral moments?

You are the sunrise at my midday.  

You were the breeze and now you are the river; forever flowing around my mountain.  
We shape each other, contour by contour, we grow together.
Your attempts at erosion only bring me further.
Though your current will carry you away; my sheltering heights will not falter.  
I will always remain.

At this juncture
Steady
Always  
 
Remain the sunrise for one more day.  Let me immerse myself in your blue and be transported to heaven.
Turn away from time and understand your current beauty.
Embrace the wonder that you are in this very moment. 
I will make sure your wandering waters are always navigable.
And you will never forget ... 

 

Leaves fall in a golden rain

Walking in the decaying beauty

We hear the destructive end to summer under our feet

A flicker a flash, reminiscent of flame 

Tangled miscommunication catches in the branches above our heads

Watching it fall, drifting away, away for winter

The darkest time of year

Can the flame illuminate the darkest part of life? 

To be prepared, flame equals salvation, salvation from decay.

From parent to child, the thread of life

Experimenting with accidents

The crunch of footsteps explodes our solitude

Seclusion disrupted.

We run

The edge of Destruction calling us on

Falling, twisting, failing

His broken spirit catches up to us

The golden rain, the voices only he hears, echoing the call of descent

Trees tangle and enclose a once hopeful springtime

When he was successfully acting the part of a person

Isolation from the script he can no longer find

Lost in the forest with golden rain staining his spirit

The Descent continues

My work gets

    Pushed aside

    Cleaned up

    Folded Away

 My Sacrifice goes unseen

    Building Up

    Putting Down

    Frustration Brewing

Procrastination shifts to panic when stress reaches code-red

Our lives are embedded yet my priorities change -- yours do not

    Increased Tension

    Pulling Apart

    Trust Strained

Your withheld plaster could mend my cracking shell

 

HELP!

 

Unproductive Psychic Communication

 

"why won't you help me?"

 

Shock and Disbelief at unseen crying behind closed doors

The voice of reassurance must be spoken out loud?

Working through mended emotions and shifted priorities 

Extend, group, explain, discuss

 

From you, Through you, Because of you

 

The Voice of Reassurance must be Spoken Outloud!

 

From me, Through you, Because of us. 

The sun shone brightly on the techno-colored autumn brilliance

But no one commented on the beauty

The last of the lingering warblers churtled in the cool air

But no one could hear it’s song

Connection and Conversation or Isolation and Seclusion?

Which has emerged with the rise of the wireless umbilical cord?

By connecting loved ones, cells phones have beheaded the affable stranger

A knowing nod, a friendly hello, a connection over random commonalities -- all extinct

Fallen in the wake of our digital loneliness

The weepy yellow sun hangs low in the sky as dust rises from the fields.
Unbathed children run home thirsty, waiting for dinner which is not yet made
Where has the rain gone?
The stench of old food lingers on dirty dishes
Have to go to the bathroom? Not now - not until 6:00 PM
The water won't be on until then
Where did the water go?
There is no more denial in Orem, TN - the town without water.
A pipe is not broken, a plumber cannot fix this problem.
Where has the rain gone? Where did the water go?
Three hours a day is all the residents of Orem have to do laundry, shower, flush...
The town without water drinks out of a truck.
Orem, TN -- a casualty of consumption.