Don Heller - Only in State College!

Only in State College!

After a six year hiatus, my Only in State College page (formerly known as Only in Ann Arbor) has returned. It chronicles some of the weird, bizarre, or just plain humorous occurrences in our area. The most recent stories are at the top of the page. Enjoy!

From the Centre Daily Times, 04/22/08:
"Urination citings increase at Blue/White
Despite an increase in portable toilets at Beaver Stadium for Saturday's Blue/ White game, 31 people, including nine women, were cited by Penn State police for urinating in public. Mark Bodenschatz, associate athletic director for facilities, said the university placed 155 portable toilets around Beaver Stadium — an increase of about 20 percent from the 125 toilets rented for last year’s game. . . ."

1. This is a good headline for the homophone game -- should it have been "Urination sightings increase. . . .?
2. Nine women were sighted/cited??????

From the Centre Daily Times, 04/13/08:
"Drunken man sleeps naked in hallway
STATE COLLEGE — Borough police are considering charges against a man found passed out drunk and naked in the hallway of an apartment building early Saturday morning. The man was discovered in a hallway at 240 S. Pugh St. at 5:08 a.m., according to State College police. The man, whose name police declined to release pending filing of charges, was taken to Mount Nittany Medical Center for treatment of an alcohol overdose."

Did the man have trouble producing identification?

From the Centre Daily Times, 01/08/08:
"PSU student target in marijuana sting
BELLEFONTE — A Penn State student is the target of a state Attorney General’s Office investigation into allegations he is paying for college by dealing large amounts of marijuana, making $30,000 to $45,000 deals at a time, according to court documents. . . . '(The informant) stated that (the suspect) had told him that he was using the proceeds of the marijuana trafficking to fund his PSU education and to purchase electronics,' an agent wrote in an affidavit. . . .Another confidential informant told police the suspect once showed up at his residence with a money-counting machine and $45,000 in cash, according to court documents. That informant told police the suspect once told him he was selling 70 pounds per week and made enough to pay for college, police said in court documents."

Penn State is the most expensive public university in the country, and we do have a shortage of financial aid. Credit is due to this student for finding a creative way of financing his college education.

From the Centre Daily Times, 10/30/07:
"Crash injures seniors, horse
UNIONVILLE — No one was seriously injured when a school bus carrying 13 senior citizens on Alternate U.S. Route 220 lost its brakes and plowed through a pickup truck pulling a horse trailer before finally running into the back of a tractor-trailer stopped at a PennDOT road construction site Monday. . . .Two senior citizens on the school bus, carrying Maplewood Manor Personal Care Facility residents, were taken by ambulance to an area hospital for treatment of what were believed to be minor injuries. A 9-year-old Morgan horse also was injured when the trailer it was being transported in was separated from a Dodge Ram pickup towing it and shoved off the road and over an embankment by the school bus. The horse was extricated from the wrecked trailer and was tended to by EMTs, who bandaged a gash on the horse’s head."

In Centre County, EMT stands for "Equine Medical Technician"

From the Centre Daily Times, 10/19/07:
"Man charged with DUI after self-incrimination
BELLEFONTE — A Howard man was bound over for trial Wednesday on DUI charges in a bizarre arrest in which state police said he incriminated himself at a traffic stop with his own portable breath test. Michael Andrew McClenahan, 58, 231 Swamp Poodle Road, was stopped along state Route 150 in Boggs Township about 2:20 p.m. Sept. 15, according to a criminal complaint. He was spotted swerving by a state conservation officer, who called state police at Rockview. When McClenahan got out of his car, he smelled strongly of alcohol and refused to take any field sobriety tests, police said. McClenahan then volunteered he was probably at a .12 percent blood alcohol content, above the .08 percent legal limit, police said. When the trooper asked how McClenahan knew this, he pulled out his own portable breath tester, reset it, blew a .09 percent blood alcohol content and showed it to the trooper, according to court documents. He was arrested on a DUI charge."

Another candidate for the Stupid Move of the Year Hall of Fame

From the Centre Daily Times, 10/17/07:
"Woman strikes cow on road
After rounding a turn on Trout Road on Sunday, Ann Yarrish, of College Township, encountered a black cow and struck the animal. According to State College police, Yarrish wasn't injured and contacted the cow's owner, who agreed to pay for a dent in her roof and a damaged headlight. The cow's condition was not reported."

This news item raises a number of questions that demand answers:

  1. This story is ambiguous as to whether the woman intentionally struck the cow or not -- did she encounter the cow and then chose to strike it?
  2. How did this woman get a dent in her roof (presumably the roof of her car, not her roof) from hitting a cow in the road? Did she somehow strike the cow with the roof of her car?
  3. How did she determine the ownership of said cow? Did she pull over, get out of the car, and look to see if it had a collar and a nametag?
  4. What kind of journalist was this who did not do the leg work to get the information about the cow's condition?


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