Benjamin K. Hoover
M.S. Horticulture Candidate
Home | About Me | Résumé | Project | Random Thoughts | Plant Pictures | Links | Lists
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Benjamin K. Hoover M.S. Horticulture Candidate |
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Home | About Me | Résumé | Project | Random Thoughts | Plant Pictures | Links | Lists
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Random Thoughts Archive - 2007
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You can scroll down to read everything, or click a title to jump directly to that particular thought. I had to abridge some of the titles to make them fit into the columns. |
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Electronic credit card signatures A little girl with an elephant Anna Nicole Smith and media low points HTML frustrations/saga of an RSS feed Characters stepping off the silver screen |
Roy Pearson (What are you thinking?) Renata Marcinkowska (What . . . ?) The Bachelor, the Sports Gal, and . . . The spoken versus the unspoken Sandals, tan lines, and the pursuit . . . Tennis shoes vs. cross trainers My iPod avoidance is over (sort of) |
A bullpen in chaos (a rotation in disarray) Isaiah cited for indecent exposure . . . A deep fried Oreo cookie Brand loyalty The wonder of coconut syrup Cell phone frustration The Phillie Phanatic |
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Electronic credit card signatures What good is an electronic signature? I ask this because I seriously doubt the value of those little electronic pads that we all sign during credit card transactions. First of all, no is able to recreate their signature on that pad. Mine appears as a mix of monkey art and the writing of an inebriated doctor, and I don't think I am alone in this. Second, I seriously doubt that anyone or anything looks at it. I recently signed a transaction as Barbara Striesand, just to see if it would work (it did, no one said anything). Sure, I have blonde hair and a big nose, but I don't think we look that similar. I also signed one later with a B followed by a line and an H followed by a line (once again, no problem). I am tempted to try something outlandish, like Genghis Khan, in an attempt to restore my confidence in signature security. |
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I think Jim Gaffigan is very funny. Recently, I realized I like his humor as a comedian, an actor, and in commercials. His "Holiday Hawk" Sierra Mist commercial is great (that entire series is good), and I think his work in the TBS sitcom "My Boys" is wonderful as well. I've watched "Beyond the Pale" more time than I care to admit, and it still makes me laugh every time. I don't always agree with him, but he makes my list of funniest people (hmmm. . . that sounds like a list I need to add to my page of lists). His alcohol and mayonnaise routine is exceptional. |
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I recently witnessed an informal debate--it could simply be called an argument--on the topic of global warming. The two parties engaged wholeheartedly, and I found their behavior quite interesting . One remained in control, making his arguments in an orderly fashion. The other resorted to sarcasm and attacks based loosely on facts, she obviously lost her cool. After the conversation had ended, people in the general area dispersed, and I heard a comment from one of the combatants that made me cringe: "I can't talk intelligently about something that I care so deeply about." Sadly, I think that sentiment is shared by most people. It is rare to see someone remain in control during times of confrontation and attack. One of my favorite quotes is from Leo Rosten: "Wisdom is equanimity in the presence of intolerable or threatening ideas." This doesn't mean compliance or apathy in the face of confrontation, this means calmness of mind and the rational formation of a response. |
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The expression "I couldn't care less" is changed to "I could care less" all too often. The funny thing about this is that when this slight change is made the phrase loses all worthwhile meaning. By saying you could care less, you are inferring that you are lukewarm on the issue. In fact, you are stating that you do care to some extent, for without some level of care you would not be able to care less. I am inclined to say that the majority of speakers who attempt to use this phrase use it incorrectly. When I hear someone use it correctly I feel a certain bond with them, somewhat akin to meeting another Eagles fan or Temple alumnus. |
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In a recent sermon Pastor Tober discussed the Christmas story. As he read the account of Gabriel visiting Mary he interjected a quick thought. He mentioned that Gabriel may not have appeared like a stereotypical angel. I was struck by that. I always think of Gabriel as a winged angel wearing a halo (halos, as far as I know, have no Biblical basis) and hovering about five feet off the ground. Mary's response is all the more impressive if she is hearing from God through a dusty traveler. |
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A little girl with an elephant For the past few months Texas Instruments has been running an advertising campaign for DLP technology that features a little girl and an elephant. At some point in the commercial she always mentions that "It's the mirrors." Now I understand the mirror reference, but I'm missing the importance of the elephant. Why is this pachyderm present? Is the elephant the proverbial "elephant in the room?" If so, what exactly is this supposed to mean? |
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I think humans are wired to appreciate resolution. We like when things are tied up nicely, packaged in a neat box. Writers are generally good at supplying this, though there are exceptions. How many times have you watched a movie with enjoyment, then suddenly formed a dislike for it because it ended with no resolution? Life isn't good at resolving things. Many issues are left open-ended. In many cases this is due to avoidance, procrastination, or weakness. However, in some cases it is just the way things are. One of the dangers I see on the screen (be it television or theater) is the notion of quick and fast resolution. This is essentially junk food for the brain, much like the ridiculous portrayal of love that is so common. Life does not progress resolution to resolution, it takes work. If you want to earn a good score on an exam you need to study for hours, and it won't happen in a slow motion montage with inspirational music playing. The same can be said for getting a good job, raising children, earning someone's respect, and on and on. Go ahead and appreciate the resolution, but don't forget to work for it. |
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This year the Australian Open was spectacular. Roger Federer demonstrated once again that he is on a quest to be the greatest tennis player to ever walk the face of the earth. He did not lose a single set in the tournament, and played one of the most dominant matches I've ever seen against Andy Roddick. The women's tournament was also good, with Serena Williams entering as the 81st ranked player and winning it all. It was evident that winning begets winning. Serena knew what it took to win, and despite the fact that she was not in good shape she still managed to win. The last three opponents she faced were teenagers in excellent physical condition and ranked higher than her, and she managed to outlast all three of them. Kudos to the folks at Melbourne for running a great event. |
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My microwave has a convenient button labeled 30 SEC, which automatically starts a thirty second cycle. There is no need to press start, it just begins. To make it even better, every time you press it thirty seconds is added to the cooking time. Because I do this, it is common for me to stop the microwave with time left on the cycle. Now I absolutely refuse to open the door before pressing stop if it is running. Therefore, the 30 SEC button and the stop button are the only two buttons I use on my microwave. I've noticed that I always stop the microwave time to correlate with a jersey number. On game day it might be 20 for Brian Dawkins or 36 for Westbrook. If I'm feeling nostalgic it might be 4 for Nails, 10 for Dutch, or 8 for Gentleman Jim. Both 17 and 27 are common, as they represent Rolen's Philly and St. Louis numbers respectively. But the most common number is 9. For we all know that nine is the perfect number. If only one number were to exist, certainly it would be nine. If God wore a jersey it would have a number nine on it. Consequently, I frequently microwave things for :51, 1:21, 1:51, etc. Why is the number nine so special? Aside from the fact that it is aesthetically pleasing and rather dapper, it also was the number worn by the best baseball player to grace this fine planet. |
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I'm happy to see Peyton Manning win a Super Bowl. He's a classy guy, in fact, the Colts as an organization are classy. It starts with the coach and extends to the players. Here are a few things that crossed my mind as I watched the big game:
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Anna Nicole Smith and media low points I am taking a zero tolerance policy on the subject of Anna Nicole Smith. If her name is mentioned I change the channel, put down the paper, leave the website, or just walk away. As I seek to avoid this story, I can't help but think of the five worst media frenzies of the past year. In my opinion they are: I. Anything related to the Jolie/Pitt/Aniston debacle II. The Barbaro saga III. Tom Cruise jumping on a couch and embracing Scientology IV. Anna Nicole Smith's death V. The downfall of Britney Spears After glancing over my list I see a bit of a trend. Just because a person can sing, act, or smile for the camera does not mean I want any information about his or her private life. When it comes to entertainers I don't care who is dating, divorcing, drinking, or dying. |
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Would you rather. . .? I'm not a big fan of the "would you rather A or B. . .?" style of questions. Recently, however, (during a bout with insomnia) I pondered this question: If I had to choose an oversized feature, which would be best: nose, mouth, eyes, or ears? If this seems too random, you probably haven't seen Domino's latest ad. After about thirty minutes I narrowed it down to the eyes or the mouth. When I woke up the next morning the answer seemed obvious. You've got to go with the mouth. . . These are the things insomnia forces you to deal with. |
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Listening to a baseball game on the radio is a wonderful thing. Especially if it is a Phillies game, for Harry Kalas makes any broadcast worth listening to. Shoot, I listened to him announce the beginning of Puppy Bowl III on YouTube. The Phils have had great announcers during the years I have listened to them. The voices of Harry, Whitey, Andy, Wheels, Scott, and LA are enough to make me smile. Though I have never met one of them in person, I have always considered them friends. |
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I visited a Five Guys Burgers and Fries for the first time recently. While they did make a slight mistake on my order (my bacon cheeseburger was pig-less), I was very impressed. I've heard great things about them, and I've already recommended them as much as I have recommended any other local restaurant. It's rare that a place lives up to the hype, but Five Guys does just that. |
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Public service announcement: Two movies to avoid I know the movie Domino came out quite a bit ago so this is not a current review, but if you are considering renting it, do not. It is a terrible story made into a terrible movie. The storyline and camera work are both neurotic and farfetched (and they say "based on a true story", yeah right). I had a hard time figuring out what the director wanted to portray, and then it hit me. If a movie has girls, guns, and violence it doesn't need to have a point (note sarcasm). Along this same line, do yourself a favor and avoid Crank. This is another movie that is pure drivel. Once again, the storyline is weak. Sure, it might sound interesting at first, but the way they portray the medical condition of the main character after he is poisoned is embarrassingly haphazard. The free fall scene is ridiculous also. If you can look past that, the question must be asked: what is the message of this movie? Hmmm, maybe killing your enemies with poison is a bad idea? |
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HTML frustrations and the saga of a reluctant RSS feed I've been struggling with the html code on my webpage recently. I'm only trying to set up a simple rss feed, but my ignorance has been exposed. So far I have had two headaches, three bouts of frustration, and some serious doubts regarding my intelligence. If nothing else, these hours of anguish have reminded why I am studying plants and not computers. You see, html code is a foreign language to me. Unfortunately hand motions and facial expressions do not compensate for this deficiency. |
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As far as I am concerned baseball is the greatest sport ever invented. You might feel it's too slow. You might (perish the thought) think it's boring. If this is true all I can do is smile sadly, shake my head in pity, and offer to explain the wonders of the diamond to you. Regardless of how you feel about the game, baseball exemplifies hope every spring. For a brief moment all teams have equal standing. Pens are poised to write the stories of the season, all heroes are undefined. These spring days coax the Cubs fan to believe, allow the Royals fan to dream, and reassure the Pirates fan that this might be the year everything comes together. Yes, every spring hope emerges. For many it is only making a cameo appearance, going into hibernation as the losses accumulate. But no matter how badly a season goes, no matter how painful it might be, every spring begins with hope. |
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I've been rather public about my distaste for Julia Roberts as an actress. In fact, I've declared that I am not a fan of her work. Well, I recently saw a movie that changed my mind. So, as of right now I am officially not not a fan of Julia Roberts. Notice I won't say I am a fan, just that I am not not a fan. What film changed my mind? Mona Lisa Smile. I watched with very low expectations, even some level of reluctance. And I was pleasantly surprised. Julia does an excellent job with her character. You see, I found her tolerable in Ocean's Eleven and Twelve, and I sort of liked her in The Pelican Brief (but I am biased because I'm a Grisham fan), however the rest of her movies did nothing for me. But one good film can change things. Welcome to a state of neutrality Julia. . . |
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People who smile with reckless authenticity are too rare. I was reminded of this recently as I observed some people smiling. Most had cautious, self-conscious smiles that were betrayed by their eyes. Why do I say this? You see, a good smile is a collaboration of the mouth and the eyes. All too often the eyes pull a Benedict Arnold. Believe me, your eyes effect your smile more than straight teeth (or the lack of them). Sadly, fake or guarded smiles are often second-nature. It is for this reason that a true smile is so refreshing. As a side note, you will rarely see a fake smile on the face of a child. |
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The precursors of another presidential election are starting to appear. Candidates are emerging, and behind closed doors scandal and spin are being prepared for public consumption. I am weary just thinking about it. I don't know if I can take it; the taste of the last election is still my mouth. I wish I could purchase a filter that would remove all political ads from my television programming. If only candidates would discuss issues honestly and candidly. I understand that the president cannot address every issue, so don't tell me you will. . . it insults my intelligence. Don't throw mud, for in the end most of it misses its target and you're left with dirty hands. Sadly, the public of the United States of America is not intelligent enough to elect a candidate that runs a clean campaign based upon real issues. How sad is that? |
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Characters stepping off the silver screen Recently I watched the old John Wayne movie El Dorado. One of the characters reminded me of someone I know so much that I laughed out loud. I'm not using that phrase to say I was quietly amused. I mean I actually laughed out loud. Every time that character said a line I couldn't help but grin. I've never come across a character in a movie that reminded me of a real person so much. I'm smiling right now as I think about it. I wonder if there is a movie character out there impersonating me? The closest I have seen is Robert Redford in Barefoot in the Park. . . but that is far from a perfect match. |
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Bicycle and pedestrian street crossing My daily commute to campus requires that I cross Park Avenue. At the location where I normally cross the road (to get to the other side) a bike crossing sign with flashing yellow lights was recently put up. Since that time, crossing the road has become much more difficult. The problem arises because people are driving well above the speed limit before approaching the crossing sign, then they slow down when reminded by the sign to make the crossing "safe." This causes vehicles to quickly catch up to each other, and makes it difficult to find a large enough gap in which to cross. The bike crossing sign has been lauded as an indication of the bicycle friendliness of Penn State. I don't like it. I think it would be better to increase the speed limit in front of the crossing, which would create gaps. I'll take my chances with faster cars. . . |
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David Halberstam was an exceptional writer. He combined a love of history with a desire to change the future. His books are well researched, smoothly written, and loaded with content. Summer of '49 and October 1964 are two of my favorite books, and I'm confident they will remain so. If you have any interest in history and never had the privilege of reading any of Halberstam's books, do yourself a favor and read one. If you consider yourself a baseball fan, check out the two titles I mentioned earlier. You won't be disappointed. |
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One of the best cartoon episodes ever is entitled Baseball Bugs. Now I'm not referring to insects, I'm talking about the great Bugs Bunny. In this particular episode Bugs takes on the Gashouse Gorillas at the Polo Grounds. I'm not sure how many times I've seen it, but I'm confident it's more times than I've watched the evening news. The reason I bring this cartoon up, is because I came across a great blog entry on this particular episode. Check it out here. |
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You would think mulching was like calculus, or advanced physics, or rocket science. Why do I say this? Because so many people do it incorrectly. The biggest mistake that is repeated (often by landscaping companies) is the piling of much against plants. Plants hate this. Peer out your window, if you look closely you might notice that your maple tree is glaring at you. You should also know that your Rudbeckia rolls its eyes every spring when you break out the wheelbarrow and pitchfork. If that's not enough, your azalea has been running up a rather large bill with a local psychiatrist. Want to make your plants happy? Take a few minutes and learn about mulching protocol; it's not that difficult. If you're really in the dark, send me an e-mail with your questions. |
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For 24 years I used bar soap in the shower exclusively. I had no idea there was an alternative. Then someone gave liquid soap such a glowing recommendation that I had to check it out. I had always associated liquid soap with kitchen sinks and public restrooms, but had missed the body wash style of soap. Well, I'm now a big fan. There are two primary reasons I feel this way. First, it's easier on the skin. This is especially true in the winter. Second, it is much cleaner than bar soap. I definitely do not miss scraping soap residue out of the shower. One last point in closing, believe it or not it is actually comparable in cost to bar soap. |
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Roy Pearson (What are you thinking?) Roy Pearson is an administrative hearings judge in Washington DC. I don't know Roy, in fact, I recently heard his name for the first time. But Roy made a bad first impression on me. You see, Roy is suing a dry cleaner for losing a pair of pants. I guess I should clarify, the dry cleaner lost one of Roy's favorite pairs of pants. Now Roy wants 65 million dollars in damages. I hope he is joking. I hope that reports that he turned down settlements of $3,000 and $4,600 aren't true. All I can do is shake my head in disapproval and do my best to never annoy Roy Pearson. I wonder what Roy would try to do to an airline that lost his luggage? |
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Renata Marcinkowska (What are you thinking?) Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal recently played a wonderful exhibition tennis match on a court that was half clay and half grass. While Nadal bested Fed 7-5, 4-6, 7-6 (10) in a hotly contested match, the bigger showdown may occur now that the tennis has been played. It seems Renata Marcinkowska, a resident of Rock Hills, SC and former WTA member, is claiming that she patented the concept of a split surface tennis court in 2004. She has lodged several complaints and is threatening a lawsuit. Renata, use your better judgment and be quiet. The exhibition was developed because arguably the greatest clay and grass court players in the history of tennis happen to be gracing us with their presence, not because someone stole your idea. I'm confident the grounds crew at Palma de Mallorca didn't consult your patent for ideas, they simply prepared a court with grass on one side and clay on the other. |
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Dr Librescu is an example of a true hero. He lived a full life. In his youth he survived the Holocaust and a stay in the Transnistria labor camp. After World War II he went on to study aerospace engineering and gained respect in his field of expertise. Eventually he ended up in the United States, teaching engineering science and mechanics at Virginia Tech. During the shooting that occurred at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007 the 76 year-old professor sacrificed his life to protect his students. As the shooter attempted to enter his classroom, Dr Librescu barred the door with his body while urging his students to escape through the windows. Five bullets struck Dr Librescu through the door, mortally wounding him. Of the 23 students in his class, only one was killed in the shooting. Dr Librescu lived his life to the full, then laid it down in a selfless act of courage. Many people are called heroes, few truly are. Dr Librescu is a hero. |
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Anyone who tells you the Eagles' recent draft pick of Kevin Kolb didn't surprise them is lying. No one saw this coming. I'm happy with the pick for a few reasons. First, the last time we drafted a quarter back who got booed on draft day it worked out well. Second, we get to listen to fans continually mispronounce Kolb's last name. Third, Donovan won't be around forever. Kolb is like Steve Young in San Fran, just waiting to inherit the team when the big star is finished. Welcome to Philly Kevin. Grab a cheesesteak, study the playbook, and be ready to lead the team in 2011. |
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The Bachelor, the Sports Gal, and good writing Anyone who knows me at all will be aware that I detest reality television. I do not watch it. So I've never seen a minute of footage from the show The Bachelor. I have, however, read the Sports Gal's articles on the program that appear on ESPN page two. The Sports Gal is the wife of the Sports Guy (Bill Simmons), and last football season she began submitting short editorials with some of Bill's columns. This spring The Bachelor columns are her first solo articles to appear on ESPN, and I have found them to be very entertaining. Not that I would actually begin to watch The Bachelor, but her take on the show is quite humorous. Good writing is good writing, and this case proves that it is capable of breathing life into a lousy subject. |
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The spoken versus the unspoken I've been pondering the results of words, either spoken or unspoken. Here is what I've been trying to figure out. Which causes more regret: spoken words that can't be taken back, or unspoken words that can never be said? I believe context is very important, as well as the truthfulness of the spoken words. My disposition lends itself to vocal parsimony. Consequently, I am more likely to have regrets stemming from unsaid things rather than spoken. One factor to consider, is that I may not have experienced the full consequences of unspoken words yet. Hmmm. .. this deserves more thought. It is my nature to want to find a rational formula to isolate the best times to leave caution to the wind and speak freely. |
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I recently watched Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill two volume feature. While I heard many positive reviews, and Netflix even recommended the movies based upon my ratings, I was quite disappointed. The storyline is epically depressing. Revenge is a sad thing to live for. When revenge clouds judgment to the extent of resulting in wonton killing, well, that's a sad day. As I reflect on the films I have three prevailing thoughts: I. What would it feel like to squash someone's eyeball with a bare foot (evidently Uma Thurman knows). II. Airline security would never allow someone to travel with a samurai sword as a carry on. III. I'll never look at one million dollars in a suitcase the same again. There might be a Black Mamba concealed inside. |
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Word association: Clay Let's play a quick game of word association. Clay. Now you might say potter. You might say Aiken. But what you should say is Nadal. Why? Because Rafael Nadal is the King of Clay. He has won 81 consecutive matches on clay courts, which is a record for consecutive single surface victories. To make this even more impressive, he has had to beat Roger Federer numerous times during this streak (and I fully believe that Fed is the greatest tennis player to ever grace the planet). The scary thing is that Nadal is only 20 years old. Who knows what he will accomplish in his career. Between Fed and the King of Clay, we are truly seeing a golden era of tennis. |
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Sandals, tan lines, and the pursuit of uniformity For the past fifteen years I have seldom set foot outdoors without wearing shoes and socks. The result? My feet do not match my legs. I have a pronounced tan line. I decided that the spring was the best time to address the issue, for that is when the problem is least pronounced. Consequently, I recently began Operation Podiatric Tan Line Eradication. While I refuse to take part in the practice of "sunning" oneself, I am wearing a pair of sandals quite often. I must say, it feels very weird to walk around in sandals. In essence, my feet are going commando, which is something they will have to get used to. |
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You really should plant some Cuban oregano (Plectranthus amboinicus 'Variegatus') in your garden this year. Unlike Cuban cigars, this plant is not affected by the US embargo (it's not even from Cuba).It has thick, succulent foliage, an incredible scent, and excellent ornamental value. It thrives in hot, dry, and sunny locations. In Pennsylvania this plant should be grown as an annual, though you could overwinter it indoors. Give it a shot, I bet you'll like it. |
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Every time I go grocery shopping I weigh brand names against generic products. I am slowly trying some of the store brands, but I am reluctant to do this. Upon reflection, however, I realized that in most cases it works out just fine. There are two specific areas where saving a few pennies is a bad idea. The first is breakfast cereal. I have never tasted a generic breakfast cereal that hit par. I stick to General Mills, Post, and Kellogg's. The second area would be plastic wrap. Using generic plastic wrap is an invitation for mental duress. Why? Because it doesn't stick to anything unless it is warm. Glad has my business forever. . . |
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Tennis shoes vs. cross trainers Until recently I had never owned a pair of tennis shoes. I always bought either cross trainers or basketball sneakers. I decided to get a pair of tennis shoes because my feet and ankles always bother me after I play tennis. When you consider the differences in sole construction, and the consequential distribution of weight, it makes sense that a tennis shoe would work better than a cross trainer on a hard court surface. And sure enough, it holds true. |
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I've heard so many positive things about this show that I decided to watch the first season recently. In fact, I watched that season in one sitting. Then I watched the second season. I understand why it is so popular now. For anyone who has ever worked in an office setting I'm sure it's pure gold. The spoof documentary is not my favorite genre of television, but this is the best show in that category that I have seen. It's interesting that my favorite characters (Jim, Toby, Stanley, Pam, and Phyllis) are not the ones that generate the truly memorable lines. While I cringe at the exploits of Michael and Dwight, I must admit that they deliver the lines that make me laugh. Health care, superior genes, beet farms, medical records, New York City. Now I'm waiting for season three to come out on DVD. |
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The question was recently raised: "If you had to choose between houseplants or pets, which would it be?" Well, I thinbk pets are wonderful. . . in someone else's house. The day I own a pet is the day Ralph Nader becomes president. Plants, on the other hand, are practically perfect in every way. I'm sure many people would disagree with me. They would say that plants are boring compared to pets. To each his own, but I will state with conviction that some of my plants have more personality than the average pet. I write this tongue-in-cheek (in case you haven't figured it out), but one thing that is true is this: my plants are quiet and clean. |
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I never judge a book by its cover or a CD after listening to it once. In fact, I rarely like a CD the first time I hear it. Especially if it's a new band. It's like eating a new vegetable. . . it takes time to develop a taste for it. That being said, the band Test Your Reflex impressed me from the first track of their new album The Burning Hour. If you put U2, Snow Patrol, and The Killers in a blender for two minutes you would end up with Test Your Reflex. |
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I am an advocate of playing serves that are classified as lets. The rules of tennis, both professional and amateur, should be changed to incorporate this. The vast majority of lets are not materially deflected, they simply graze the net. Even if balls that strike the net and change direction are considered, the impact of playing lets is favorable. It is not likely that serves will be aimed directly at the net, and if they are it is a high risk proposition. If the move is executed properly it would be the equivalent of a ball nailed down the T or a wide out serve. Let's get rid of lets. |
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My iPod avoidance is over (sort of) For years I have resisted getting an iPod. I love music, and the idea of having it with me is appealing, but I hate sticking things in my ears. Recently I decided to get an MP3 player (I didn't actually get an iPod, I went with a Samsung YP-T9 instead). I'm planning to use it in my car, as a data storage device, and maybe when I'm out running. As much as I detest earbuds I might give them another try. |
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Paris Hilton on Larry King Live Over the past few days I've noticed that Paris Hilton is on the news too often. Her release from prison and interview with Larry King have been hyped. I got to thinking about this. How much would you have to pay me to watch the entire one hour interview? Here is what I came up with. If I can read a book or work on a project while watching the interview I would only charge $20. If I had to give the interview my undivided attention the price would be substantially higher, say $110. This is assuming that I retain the right to deny I ever watched the interview. If I have to surrender that, the price jumps to $175. I guess I am not CNN's target audience for this story. . . |
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I have a bonsai potato. You might be thinking "What is a bonsai potato?" And that's a reasonable question, for I am the only person I know with a bonsai potato. It's a potato that is advanced in months, well past the stage of edibility. I have it sitting on a little stand, and I have meticulously trimmed the shoot growth that has emerged from the eyes. If this strikes you as interesting, check out www.bonsaipotato.com. I am convinced the world would be a better place if more of us had bonsai potatoes. |
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Mark Schlereth played NFL football from 1989-2000 with the Washington Redskins and the Denver Broncos. He picked up the nickname Stink as a rookie when he told a story about the practice of removing fish heads (called Stinkheads) in some areas of his home state of Alaska. The nickname Stinkhead was shortened to Stink, and it continues to linger with him now that his career has ended. Stink currently works at ESPN as a football analyst, and recently began appearing in the daytime soap Guiding Light as a character named Roc Hoover. He has endured all sorts of good natured kidding about this role, including the development of a theme song by ESPN radio hosts Mike & Mike. The song ends with the line: "There ain't no messing with the Hoov." Now my mission in life is to find a recording of this song. So far it has been very elusive. . . |
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There are some things in life I have never appreciated, and to be more specific, there are certain tastes I have never developed. For instance, I don't like coffee. It smells great, but the taste does not do the scent justice. Along the same line, the taste of alcohol does nothing for me. In all honesty it doesn't crack my top ten list of best chilled drinks for a hot summer day. In addition to coffee and alcohol, I have never developed a taste for seafood. When someone asks me what my favorite seafood is I will respond with: "There is this cow named Fred, he's feeling really stressed at work, so he decides to take a vacation. Part of the vacation package is a snorkeling excursion . . ." In truth I prefer chicken to beef, but the mental image of a snorkeling cow is better than that of a chicken. |
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I recently changed my primary e-mail address. For the past eight years I have used Juno software, which I grew rather fond of. I had several e-mail addresses routed through that account, and everything seemed lovely. Then one day the software decided to crash. Crash doesn't do it justice, let's try crash and burn. All of my contacts, messages, attachments, and settings were gone. In the midst of the software carnage I made the decision to switch to Gmail as my primary account and Outlook as my software. So the dawn of a new e-mail era is here, and we all know that every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. |
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A bullpen in chaos (a rotation in disarray) The Philadelphia Phillies have a potent lineup. If you look no further than the starting eight everything is great. But alas, someone needs to pitch the ball. While our starters are providing adequate efforts (Hamels has been extraordinary), the bullpen is a complete disaster. I do not recall ever following a team with a more porous pen. As I watched a five run lead become a deficit recently I realized I felt no surprise. Pitching and defense wins championships, and we have the defense. Pat Gillick must decide if this team is capable of making a run at a title, and if so, he needs to bring in a few live arms. |
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For the past two years I have been mulling over the idea of purchasing a Schecter C1-A/E. Other purchases and budget issues prevented me from buying one. Well, I recently came across a Schecter dealer who had one with a small blemish in the finish, which results in the final price of the guitar being about half of what it retails for. The blemish is on the back of the neck and will have no impact on playability, and is not even visible while the guitar is being played. The only noticeable mark is the number two that is stamped on the base of the fretboard to designate it as a second that did not pass inspection. I figure that we're all a little messed up in some regard, why should a guitar be any different? Welcome to the fold, Schecter C1-A/E. |
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Isaiah cited for indecent exposure . . .again I've read the book of Isaiah several times. Despite this, I managed to miss a fact contained in chapter 20 until recently. It's one of those weird commands, and Isaiah was the lucky guy to receive it. The poor guy walked around naked for three years just to deliver a visual image to the Egyptians. From now on I will think of Isaiah as the prophet without tan lines. There are times when I wish I would hear directly from God, and then there are days when I am grateful I do not. |
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I am a Phillies fan. Part of this involves hating the New York Mets. I really have a genuine distaste for the Mets. I actively root against them. I like to vilify their players. One player that I cannot do this to, however, is Jose Reyes. I can't help but love the guy. He plays hard, he plays well, and he has a golden personality. New York is lucky to have him. While I still root against him, I do it in a friendly sort of way. I just save the extra hostility for Paul LoDuca. |
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I've cited Murphy's Law many times, claiming that whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Recently several things have worked out quite well for me, and I was contemplating what to call this. You could say I was blessed, you could say I got lucky, you could just say things worked out well. But what I came up with is a new law. Yes, you could say it's just Norwood's Law at work. What is Norwood's law? It's simple: Whatever can go right will go right (if this isn't funny to you I will venture to guess that you are either a Buffalo Bills fan or a non-NFL fan). |
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Opening a door is like waking up in the morning and getting dressed; if I skip this step my day doesn't run as smoothly. You see, when I walk into a building or room I like to open, or at least touch, the door. I cringe (and say a dishonest thank you) whenever someone holds a door open for me. I even go so far as to avoid automatic doors, and when I go through them I still touch them lightly (even elevator doors). A door that is propped open warrants a touch on the way past, though the door frame will do in a pinch. I feel revolving doors are pure evil. |
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I watched Hitchcock's masterpiece Dial M for Murder recently. It's a great movie; I highly recommend it. But that's not what this is about. While the opening credits roll the background picture is of a phone dial. One of the markers on the dial contains the letters PRS, and it is located in a prominent location on the screen. Now when I see PRS I automatically think Paul Reed Smith. When I saw the letters on the screen I read them as Paul Reed Smith. Isn't it odd that some initials become so strong they almost cease to be initials? |
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Fear is fueled by the unknown. It is very disconcerting to be discussed openly in a language you cannot follow. This happens frequently in foreign countries and at the dentist. Why do dentists insist on using this terrifying secret shorthand language? Some people have lofty language goals like learning Spanish, French, German, Japanese, or Chinese. My goal? I want to learn Dentist. |
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A deep fried Oreo cookie I recently attended the Grange Fair in Centre Hall, PA. Like any worthwhile fair, the Grange Fair has a wide variety of fried foods and dairy products. In the sea of stands one sign stood out to me. It read: Deep Fried Oreo Cookies. Why would you deep fry an Oreo cookie? And who would eat a deep fried Oreo cookie? I am willing to bet that no Nobel Peace Prize winners have ever eaten a deep fried Oreo. I am also willing to wager that no Canadian Prime Ministers have ever eaten a deep fried Oreo. So you see, I refuse to eat a deep fried Oreo, and I will do so in the company of Nobel Peace Prize winners and Canadian Prime Ministers. |
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Brand loyalty I consider myself a loyal person. Yet in most cases this loyalty does not extend to brands. There are few items that I purchase that are completely exclusive to one manufacturer. I normally have a preferred choice or two, but it's not true loyalty. But there are two areas where this is not true. I buy Reebok athletic shoes. Why? Because they are the best (and they sponsor the Eagles). I use Gillette shaving products. Why? I don't know, I just do . . . |
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The wonder of coconut syrup While I was in Hawaii I stumbled across the wonder that is coconut syrup. Absolute perfection on a pancake. You see, I think pancakes are one of the greatest things to ever touch a plate. I'll eat them for any meal. In fact, I can almost imagine becoming a vegetarian (but not quite) because I could survive on pancakes alone. Coconut syrup is to pancakes what Robin is to Batman, or Pippen is to Jordan, or Martin is to Lewis. Sure they can have solo careers, but they are at their best when they are paired together. |
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Cell phone frustration My cell phone is a good cell phone. It's not overly fancy or ridiculously expensive, but it works well. It's a Motorola V551 model. I like it. But it has one trait that is extremely aggravating. The charger does not connect well with the phone. In fact, I need to create a complex stack of weighted objects, each one applying pressure to the right spot on the phone and charger, to get it to charge. I've heard similar stories from other people who have this model, so I guess it is a design issue. |
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The Phillie Phanatic The Phillie Phanatic is the best professional sports mascot to grace this fine planet. I'm a serious baseball fan, and I love the Phillies. When I go to the ballpark I'm not looking for any entertainment aside from the game itself, but I have a soft spot in my heart for the Phanatic. He's great when he's cruising on his four wheeler, harassing fans of the opposition, or my own personal favorite, when he is attempting to cast a spell on the opposing pitcher. Here's to you, Phillie Phanatic, you make me proud to be a Philadelphia Phillies fan. |
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Gone in 60 seconds: A tale of saltines I've heard that eating six saltine crackers in one minute (without eating or drinking anything else) is nearly impossible. This feat is referred to as the "saltine challenge." At random times it crosses my mind, and I ask myself if I could do it. Well, the question has been answered. The first time I tried, I finished cracker number six at the 59 second mark; it was a real photo finish. Attempt two only took 54 seconds. My mind is at ease now that I know I can consume six saltine crackers in a minute. I wonder if I should add this to my résumé? |
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Baseball players are highly skilled athletes. Many of them are very intelligent. Despite this, you still see players sliding into first base. They seem to think diving headfirst takes more hustle than running through the base. This is a stupid and potentially dangerous mistake. Sliding into first base is wrong. The only reason it should be done is to avoid a tag, which occurs very rarely at first base. Sliding slows down the runner and greatly increases the odds of injury. Think about it, how often do you see a sprinter slide across the finish line? The only thing worse than seeing someone slide into first base is hearing someone praise a player for doing it. I don't care if it looks dramatic; it's a stupid move. |
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I've noticed that the History Channel (HC) has been moving away from history. You can find programs on machines, engineering, geography, alien research, and all sorts of topics that are not history intensive. Hopefully it does not become as extreme as Music Television Video (MTV), which rarely plays music. Somehow MTV now stands for sleazy reality television and not music. The day the HC starts broadcasting a reality show will be a dark one indeed. |
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The band Radiohead is doing some innovative. They are selling their most recent album (In Rainbows) as a digital download from their website. Now that's not the innovative part, the price is. When you add the album to your shopping cart the price comes up as "It's up to you." That's right. You name the price. I applaud the concept, but I predict that many people will exploit it. I guess this is the modern equivalent of playing music on a street corner while collecting tips in an open guitar case. |
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Tabloids in the checkout aisle annoy me. I do my best to ignore them. It amazes me that the things still sell. Evidently they don't all sell, for during a recent trip to the grocery store I saw an employee disposing of hundreds of the magazines. It made me smile. Tabloids in the trash; it's good to see them where they belong. |
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Before I write this I should clarify that I am not a grammar snob. In fact, I have been known to make a grammatical error or three. Certain things, however, tend to bother me. One of those happens to be the word literally. When this word is used it should mean: without exaggeration, word for word, exactly. If someone literally laughed his head off he is dead. If we have literally one minute to catch the train, we have sixty seconds to get on that train. If she literally said "You are fired", then she did not say "Business has been slow; I'm afraid we need to let you go," she said "You are fired." I've been hearing the word misused literally everywhere (I couldn't help it . . . see, doesn't that sound ridiculous?). I recently came across the blog Literally, A Web Blog, and I enjoy reading it. So here is my plea. Let your yes be yes, your no be no, and your literally be literal. |
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I always note the color an M&M before I eat it. You could ask me what color it was a few seconds later, and I am confident I would be able to tell you. I also tend to eat one color at a time. Typically I will leave either blue and yellow or brown and green as the final colors. The writing on the candy is always an M to me, even when it's upside down. I see an upside down M and not a W. These are the things I notice. |
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I would like to go on the record as a Donovan McNabb fan. Donovan is the best quarterback to ever play for the Philadelphia Eagles, and it has been an honor and a pleasure to see him play. He deserves the respect and loyalty of Philly fans. No matter how the rest of the season plays out, as long as he is healthy he should be a lock as the starter for next year. |
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I like a wide variety of music. While my taste is diverse, I am normally not a fan of the genre teen pop. This being said, I have an affinity for the band LFO. I've been listening to their album Life is Good recently, and I like it. I think it is the funk element that I like so much. They have some great beats and surprisingly good guitar work. So here I am listening to songs my music software labels as teen pop. |
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So I saw the movie 300 recently. How many stars do I give it? Well, I think I'll just give it a shrug. Here are a few things that crossed my mind as I watched: - As the battle formation formed, and a wall of pectoral muscles stood on display, I had to wonder how many daily crunches were represented. I set the over/under at 25,000, and I'll take the over. - Everyday life really needs random slow motion and a sound track. - I guess religion got a bad rap in this movie, huh? - Leonidas missed wide left. He really should talk to Scott Norwood. They might be able to help each other. |
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Ten things I learned in 2007: A year in review During the course of 2007 I learned some new things. Some of them were life changing (like discovering coconut syrup) and others were relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. So here is a list of ten, though I will not claim they are the most profound or worthwhile things I gleaned from '07.
1. I am rather fond of the band Test Your Reflex One day I happened to listen to the Test Your Reflex album The Burning Hour on a whim. I decided I liked the band before the vocals started on the first track. This is saying a lot, for I usually reserve judgment until I have heard an entire album several times. 2. Coconut syrup is a dollop of heaven While in Oahu this summer I was introduced to coconut syrup. Pure perfection on a pancake. As I sat in the Seaside Bar and Grille savoring this new taste I couldn't stop smiling. Good times. . . 3. Bullfrog® sunscreen and tennis do not mix well I've used Bullfrog® sunscreen a few times over the years. This year, for the first time, I used it before playing tennis. Bad idea. Before the end of the first set it was running into my eyes. By the end of the second set I was wondering if I would ever see properly again. My eyes stung for two days. 4. Elongate hemlock scale is a nasty pest I worked with elongate hemlock scale for the first time in 2007. In the experiment I conducted, I found that every hemlock and fir species I tested was highly susceptible to this pest. Troubling indeed. . . 5. Factors may influence running pace During 2007 I did more running than I have in any previous year of my life. I noticed that several factors were able to influence my pace. First, there is music. When I started running while listening to music I knocked several seconds off my average mile time. Second, is the presence of other people. I always run alone, though I normally see other people out on the trails. My goal is to never be passed (bikers excluded) and to attempt to overtake people in front of me. Third, the presence of wind. After running into the wind for a few miles I now have a fuller appreciation of the statement: "May the wind be at your back." 6. The witnesses of Hebrews 12 For some reason I've always thought of the "great cloud of witnesses" mentioned in the opening verse of Hebrews 12 as a group of onlookers. This year it finally clicked that the word witnesses should be read as testimonies. The author is urging readers to reflect on the examples presented by those mentioned in chapter 11, not warning them that they are being watched. 7. Keying out true firs is difficult One of goals for 2007 was to create a simple key to be used to identify true firs from the Mediterranean region. I failed miserably. The species and natural hybrids are so closely related in many cases they are nearly impossible to separate with the naked eye. Shoot, they're nearly impossible to separate with the well dressed eye. 8. In church league softball it is possible to hit a losing walk-off home run I know this because I did it. Having a house in left field complicates things. By striking this particular house I managed to forfeit all the runs my team had scored in the inning. I hadn't hit a house with a batted ball since I was 12. Oh well, at least this time I didn't break a window like last time. 9. The Office is good, like real good Rumors of The Office had reached me during the first two seasons. However, since I am reluctant to watch TV shows on a regular basis, I never checked it out. This year I decided to watch the first two seasons on DVD. In two sittings I devoured them like Pacman consumes white dots. This show is the only reason I care about the writer's strike (get back to work already). 10. Sometimes dogs wear sunglasses As I wandered around the State College Arts Fest this summer I walked past a dog. The dog was a small gray Scottish terrier, and the dog was wearing sunglasses. They were small round glasses, the kind you see if you run an image search for "John Lennon glasses." The little guy was being photographed in a frenzy that would have made the paparazzi proud. |
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