ILY<3 The Relationship of Texting

He enters the room and your eyes cast down. You lip quivers ever so slightly and you immediately bite down to rid any chances of him seeing you nervous. Your hands and feet begin to fidget as you twist and turn in your seat, only stealing a glance for a moment to see if he notices you like you notice him. As butterflies begin to erupt from the pit of your stomach, you shakily retrieve your phone from your pocket and shoot out a quick text, "hey :)". Whew, you exhale for the first time in minutes and anxiously wait for his answer.

The relationship of texting. What adolescents and even young adults now use as a gateway to forming relationships with their significant others. And as the relationship blossoms, the texting only continues. However, relationships tend to differ from one another-even in the texting realm. TIME Magazine took notice of this in its article, "Textual Relations: Couples Who Text Too Much Aren't As In Love As They Want You To Think". TIME evaluates the frequency of texts and how they associate with the stability of a couple's relationship by looking closely at one study in particular. 

The hypothesis: The higher the frequency of texts, the more successful the relationship. 

The null hypothesis: The lower the frequency of texts, the less successful the relationship. 

The study published in the "Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy", conducted an experiment involving 276 male and female test subjects. Within the test group, there were 38% serious relationships, 46% engaged and 16% married. Scientists assessed results by recording the frequency of texts along with the individual's satisfaction with the relationship. What they found was intriguing. Men and women differed from one another when it came to the results. Men who seemed to have a higher frequency of texts, reported a lower satisfaction with their relationship. However, women with higher frequency of texts reported a higher satisfaction with their relationship. In conclusion, the results were ambiguous. 

Scientists pondered as to why there was a difference between genders. Experimenters hypothesized that men resort to more texting because "as men disconnect from a relationship, or consider a break-up, they replace face-to-face interactions with less intimate communication in the form of increased texting." (Sifferlin,TIME). In apposition, women resort to more texting in order to "apologize, work out their differences and make decisions -- in other words, when their relationship was in trouble. As their connection with their loved one deteriorated, women attempted to make up or resolve their differences via text, which the scientists believe is the online version of the need to "talk things out."" (Sifferlin,TIME). In conclusion, both genders seem to have different motives when it comes to texting. 

TIME's article lacked to provide information as to what was concluded in the study. But after further research, results show that it depends mainly on the content of the message. "For both men and women, sending loving text messages was linked to relationship satisfaction" (Bean,BYU). So in this case, we are going to accept the hypothesis that the higher the frequency of texts results in a more successful relationship considering a third variable is involved- the content of the message. The study could have been conducted more properly if they studied a higher, more even number of subjects in order to create an even ratio between male and female. That way, results could have found one conclusion that was not gender based.

LOL, ROFL, JK, ILY...texting is not something to give up, nor depend upon. But when sending texts to your significant other, it may be more helpful if the message includes more hearts than usual. 

  1. Sifferlin, Alexandra, and Alexandra Sifferlin. "Textual Relations: Couples Who Text Too Much Aren't as in Love as They Want You to Think." Time. Time, 31 Oct. 2013. Web. 19 Nov. 2013.
  2. Szathmary, Zoey. "Texting in Relationships Increases Intimacy...but Makes You More Likely to Misread Partner's Emotions in Person." Mail Online. N.p., 10 Nov. 2013. Web. 19 Nov. 2013.
  3. Bean, Roy, Dean Busby, Sarah Coyne, Schade, and Sandberg. "News." Too Much Texting Can Disconnect Couples, Research Finds. Brigham Young University, n.d. Web. 19 Nov. 2013.


I somewhat disagree with the results of the study. I feel that the more texting there is in a relationship, the more acceptable it is to have less real life romance. It takes merely seconds to send a single text. Being in person with your partner takes longer time and is more meaningful. The third variable, content of the message, could have to do with the different result, but I personally think that texts are impersonal and require little effort. Texting a cute message here and there to remind your partner that they are being thought about is fine, but if texting becomes more frequent than the time that the couple actually spends together, that's where we have a problem. In general, I do not see texting as being a positive aspect to helping relationships succeed.

I agree with the results of the study men and women will definitely differ when it comes to the frequency of receiving text messages. The part that I disagree with is with which gender tends to send more text messages. I think that when women feel as though their relationship is going sour they tend to send more texts than men. I think that some of the evidence from the study that you reported on allows more truth to this. As your blog stated, women tend to want to text their significant other when a relationship is headed down the tubes, but you often find men becoming irritated. The link below provided an experimental study that proved that "frequency of male texting was negatively linked with relationship satisfaction". Meaning that the higher number of texts produced caused for a lower satisfaction of the relationship. I think the amount of texts received from the women and sent to the men causes for men to be more dissastisfied. Furthermore I think that since men feel the need to respond to a lot of texts they become irritated and therefore dissatisfied with the relationship.

It is funny because they younger generations use texting as a way to talk to their boyfriends or girlfriends or even a crush. My mom never understood why young couples will text each other none stop and truly like you said it is a relationship within itself. It is sad that our generation tries to do away with face to face interaction and use texting as a comfort zone. How will people ever expect relationships to last if they cannot even speak to each other face to face. I found this article that states texting can be a good and bad thing for relationships. It is good because it always a way to communicate and get together more, but it can be bad because over text you cannot really tell how the other person is reacting. It could eventually cause a lot of unnecessary fights and potential break ups.

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