Wait you're rooming with guys?!


| 7 Comments

The other day my roommate came into the apartment started telling my other roommates and I how she was talking to this guy in one of her classes and he was saying how the bed they supplied for him is too short so he has to get another delivered. She responded, "that's so funny because my roommate is 6'3" and doesn't fit in their bed so they're getting one delivered too". The guy said, "holy crap you're roommates tall is she on the volleyball team?" To that she laughed and said, "No my roommates a guy". She said he stared at her and said, "Wait you're rooming with guys?! My parents would never let me live with girls".

Is it better to live co-ed or by gender? Rutgers University in 2011 set up a program where students have an option to live coed after a student committed suicide over his roommate showing a sex tape of him and another male. Now my roommates and I did not decide to room with each other based on sexual orientation such as Rutgers reason behind this motion but still we seem to like it better. Rutgers is not the only school that is using this option for housing ,the motion has now spread such as at my sister's alma-mater,  The George Washington University. The Genderblind Campaign is helping students with proposals to get this passed in more places to make everyone feel safe and welcomed. Ohio University, Emory University, Beloit College, Suny Stony Brook, University of Michigan, and more schools have all accepted the gender neutral housing option and some are even expanding their numbers of neutral housing options.

Last year my roommate and I lived on a co-ed floor and found that with the boys there it seemed to ease tension or drama that could've been created on all girls floors (or to the most extent since you cannot help some people's personalities). So living with guys instead of girls in an apartment this year just seemed like the best way to go. We are set up so we have our own room and our own bathroom and the boys have their own room and bathroom (unfortunately though the bathrooms do not connect inside the rooms) then we share out dinning room, living room, and kitchen. And it's just easy. It's fun learning how to live the opposite sex giving them time to watch sports, play video games, binge eat out of the fridge, bring girls over, ect and they laugh at watching us to our thing too. So I know it's working for us but still I wonder in professionals minds is it the better option?Roommates

According to one article they think that living co-ed is not a good option, that instead co-ed living "fuels unhealthy behavior such as sex and binge drinking". A lot of articles seem to be along that same line, yet there are still about 90% of college dorms that are co-ed so clearly that's not stopping colleges from allowing it. Interestingly I saw USA Today said, "pupils in coed housing are 2 1/2 times as likely to binge-drink weekly, and nearly a third more likely to admit having at least one sexual partner in the last year," and then found  of someone's blog who also commented on this. They wrote what we learned in class, "As I read the story, I mumbled the statistician's mantra, "but correlation does not imply causation."" The blog post is interesting, it is written using different studies about co-ed dorms and seeming to turn up what I find as well, that there seems to be no answer that cannot be questioned. So perhaps some students, like myself, prefer co-ed living and find it beneficial. While reports show that it causes risky behavior, but then hey why is no one stopping it? Because perhaps it's not the living situation but who the people are to begin with? There seems yet to be an answer or a solid way to study it. That leaves everyone for now to form an opinion on their own, what do you think? 


 

7 Comments

This was a really interesting read. Like the caption, I probably would've had the same reaction. My friend actually told me the other day that she wants to get an apartment with a couple of her guy friends. To me, that is shocking! But like you said it really depends on the people. My concern would be the bathroom situation, but it seems to have worked out for you since you guys were lucky enough to get seperate ones. i guess this situation really depends on lots of different factors and variables!

Baylee I love this post I actually live in a house with just me and two of my guy friends and it always surprises me when people look at me and say "you're parents are ok with you living with two guys?!" I can honestly say I never really gave it a second thought and I doubt my parents did either. My older sister lived with 3 boys her sophomore year of college and 4 her junior year so maybe thats why it never seemed weird to me when my two guy friends said they needed another roommate and asked me to move in.

I think its a really interesting topic as to whether which is better coed or same sex living. I can honestly say that it has worked out great for me and my roommates but I agree that it does depend on the people in the situation not the situation itself. I have friends that I could never see being able to live with guys and I have guy friends that I could never imagine living with girls. I think it depends on the people and the maturity level of the roommates as well.

As I was reading your post, I realized how many ethical issues arise when it came to the topic of whether coed dorming is appropriate. Many articles have posted arguments and statistics on the fact that coed dorming may cause more sexual activity and binge drinking. However, in your case you are living in an apartment. Are the guys you are living with close friends prior to the living situation? This may have an effect or factor into why coed living is working for you guys. I believe that age also plays a major factor. For example freshman and sophomores are going through the stage in their life where college is new, fun, and tempting. They are probably more likely to take part in risky sexual behavior with one another and binge drink, while in your case you might have known your room mates longer and have developed solely a friendship with them. So maybe the question is not so much about coed living in itself but just coed dorming with under classmen.
Also how do you feel in terms of personal violation space and safety when it comes to women? Do you think girls are at more of a risk of being sexually harassed or assaulted if their male roommate is bringing over different guys whom they may not know very well?
I am only playing devil’s advocate and curious as to other reasons and possibilities for coed dorming to be a wrong thing.
http://graceuniversity.edu/iip/2011/06/25-3/
http://www.livescience.com/5862-surprise-coed-dorms-fuel-sex-drinking.html

As I was reading your post, I realized how many ethical issues arise when it came to the topic of whether coed dorming is appropriate. Many articles have posted arguments and statistics on the fact that coed dorming may cause more sexual activity and binge drinking. However, in your case you are living in an apartment. Are the guys you are living with close friends prior to the living situation? This may have an effect or factor into why coed living is working for you guys. I believe that age also plays a major factor. For example freshman and sophomores are going through the stage in their life where college is new, fun, and tempting. They are probably more likely to take part in risky sexual behavior with one another and binge drink, while in your case you might have known your room mates longer and have developed solely a friendship with them. So maybe the question is not so much about coed living in itself but just coed dorming with under classmen.
Also how do you feel in terms of personal violation space and safety when it comes to women? Do you think girls are at more of a risk of being sexually harassed or assaulted if their male roommate is bringing over different guys whom they may not know very well?
I am only playing devil’s advocate and curious as to other reasons and possibilities for coed dorming to be a wrong thing.
http://graceuniversity.edu/iip/2011/06/25-3/
http://www.livescience.com/5862-surprise-coed-dorms-fuel-sex-drinking.html

I loved the beginning of this. My parents would be very weary about allowing me to room with guys. But, I do believe that rooming with both guys and girls is better. I did summer session up here and was on an all girls floor. This fall I am now on a coed floor and really like it. College has a lot to do with meeting new people. Being on a floor with both guys and girls gives you the opportunity to meet even more types of people. Another thing was that during summer session our floor was very cliquey with all the girls. My roommate and I kinda just stuck together because the girls formed groups by the end of the semester. Now my floor is more open and we always say hi to each other. It feels like there is less tension being on a coed floor.
It is a different experience and new experiences are an important part of life.
here's a link to what other people's opinions are on this controversial issue:
http://forums.soompi.com/discussion/65971/co-ed-floor-vs-single-sex-floor

Hi Baylee, I really enjoyed reading your post. I certainly agree with you on the correlation does not necessarily mean causation thing. Perhaps as a generalization, those that live with opposite-sex roommates are more likely to be more open minded, liberal, and willing to try new, non-traditional things. Maybe more openminded attitudes include honesty and confidence about drinking and having sex. 50 colleges now actually offer co-ed dorm rooms as an option, including some Ivy League Colleges. I personally think it's a great idea to have a gender-neutral option, and Penn State should consider implementing such an option. Check out the article here for more info on that! http://voices.washingtonpost.com/campus-overload/2010/05/coed_dorm_rooms.html

It's awesome to see that so many people commented!! Now I understand how the intro blog page says this is a class where you actually do work and others get to appreciate it as well.

To Alexandria your questions are actually great points! To answer some we are sophomores (so technically underclassman) and we met through mutual friends second semester when our previous rooming situation did not work out! So actually the way it happened was kind of like the way a dorm would work and we luckily hit it off! With the concept of woman safety that is interesting though it made me think perhaps it is safer with guy roommates that if that happens they can step in, as opposed to an apartment of all "helpless girls". With personal violation I have never had an issue with it but that's because I believe it is about respect. Last year we would often keep our doors unlocked on our floor and the boys would knock before the entered where the girls would just walk in. It's the same thing this year. I guess yes as woman we feel we could be violated but playing devils advocate couldn't men be violated as well?

To the rest of the comments I think it's awesome that some of you relate to this by either living co-ed as well or your friends going through it! Christina it's cool hearing your point that you went from the all girls to the co-ed because I never personally got to see that difference! I watched my friends all girl floors become really cliquey but that was still just an outside observation!

If you guys do think you ever want to take action in it here's the link to The National Genderblind Campaign: http://www.genderblind.org/take-action/

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