How Bean Plants Ruined my Future


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Imagine that you are 13 years old. You're in middle school, so naturally, your life is a nightmare. Currently, your problems are so earth-shattering that you can't be bothered with your education.

 As a result, when your science teacher assigns you a project, you leave it to the last minute. The project in question involves growing bean plants and recording their growth. You gag at the idea of gardening. Unfortunately, beans are as difficult to work with as 13 year olds and both refused to be rushed. 

Therefore, you get a "C" on the project. This "C" single handedly ruins your class grade. This grade single handedly keeps you from entering the advanced science class. Not entering 8th grade advanced science single handedly keeps you from all advanced science class from there on.

Instead of listening to dumbed down powerpoints about nobel gases, you read novels under your desk. Now you're an English major who generally refuses to eat beans.

 

My name is Lauren Parrott and I write in second person far more than necessary. This class sang out to me, "Science for English majors!" The class was chosen mostly because it was the least offensive thing that fulfilled the GN requirement. Science and I have a strange relationship. Mostly, it tries to tell me what to do, and in turn, I write extravagant lies about it for the sake of a story. When I'm not working on our relationship issues I watch unhealthy amount of television or pretend to be a lawyer.

I'd shake your hand...but well, you know...

1 Comment

Lol!! I like your story of a typical first world problem. Nice blog, hopefully we don't have to learn about cultivating beans in this class. Here's a bean we all loved http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlNNBxSiJaY

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