Do Opposites Attract?


| 4 Comments
"Opposites attract" is a phrase that has been popular for ages. It's everywhere in our culture--there have been songsmovies, even books revolving around this theory.  You would think that in order to get along with or date someone, one should share similarities with that person. The more similar, the better, you might think. However, research shows that it might be a mix of the two.

opposites-attract-1.jpg
According to a Columbia University study, couples "who seem to agree with each other all the time may find they are actually too close for comfort" (Watson).  The university's public health department conducted research for three years on 732 men and women.  Participants were asked about "their relationships, level of intimacy, overall satisfaction, closeness to their partner, how often they thought of breaking up, commitment and depression" (Watson).  Another psychological test, used to assess how much the couples had in common, was combined with the first survey in order to compare closeness to relationship strength or happiness.

The results?  Couples who were neither close nor too distant but "somewhere in between" had the strongest relationships (Watson).  Lead author of the study David Frost emphasized the need for this balance.  "People who yearn for a more intimate relationship and people who crave more distance are equally at risk of having a problematic relationship," he explained (Watson). This concept can also be applied to non-romantic relationships.

What we can take away from this study is that a healthy relationship consists of a balance in closeness and distance.  The way I see it is this: when we're looking for someone to date, we're looking for someone who complements us, kind of like how salt complements pepper and peanut butter complements jelly.  Too much similarity makes the situation pretty dull and too much dissimilarity makes it extremely nasty (and frustrating).




4 Comments

I loved reading about this because I've always wondered what was actually considered right and it makes sense. It's annoying having someone who agrees with you on everything and people opposite to me I have a hard time understanding them. I liked the comparison at the end too!

Overall, here's a link to a "personality test" and at the end of the test it tells you what your type means and the type of person you would match well with, it's interesting.
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

I think this was a good topic to do a blog post on. What I find interesting is how much the idea of "opposites attract" relates to human nature. In this article

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/do-opposites-attract?page=2

by webmd, the author pointed out that "Genetically, finding someone different in many ways means a diversity of genes and healthier offspring". So, does mean we try to find opposites subconsiously?

I am not sure if this has been proved, but that doesn't mean successful relationships are only between people who are polar opposites. As this article says,

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_60/62_dating_girl.html

opposites can attract, but because a relationship "depends on how different you are, what you choose to make of the differences, and what the differences make of you", the key is compromise.

I think this was a good topic to do a blog post on. What I find interesting is how much the idea of "opposites attract" relates to human nature. In this article

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/do-opposites-attract?page=2

by webmd, the author pointed out that "Genetically, finding someone different in many ways means a diversity of genes and healthier offspring". So, does mean we try to find opposites subconsiously?

I am not sure if this has been proved, but that doesn't mean successful relationships are only between people who are polar opposites. As this article says,

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_60/62_dating_girl.html

opposites can attract, but because a relationship "depends on how different you are, what you choose to make of the differences, and what the differences make of you", the key is compromise.

Love this topic! For about the past two years I have really been getting into astrology and my daily horoscopes. I'm a definite sucker for that type of stuff- real or complete BS. Being the sensitive, nurturing and hopeless romantic Pisces that I am, according to my horoscope the perfect match for me would be a Scorpio. Much to the opposite of Pisces, Scorpios help balance the relationship by bringing strength, passion and a whole lot of spark. They also have similarities, including, loyalty and spirituality. My Scorpio lover will protect me!

So, in relation to your blog, balance, in my opinion (formed by my horoscope) opposites which balance each other out are most likely going to be the "perfect match".

Here's a link if you're interested on finding yours! http://www.horoscopecompatibility.com/

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