Am I a real man?


| 4 Comments

We've all heard it. Lonely, introverted guys saying, "Why do women like jerks so much?" (I've said it too). Then women say something like,"All men are the same" and claim that any man that they meet is a "jerk". Well, according to psychological studies, women may not be able control whether or not they are attracted to these "jerks" or "assholes" because it is in their human nature.

Even though it may not seem like it, women largely have more self-esteem problems than men do. (i.e., the gorgeous woman who thinks she's ugly, fat, etc..) Could it be that women think they are understood by a man who treats her like garbage, therefore she thinks the man is being "real" with her? On the contrary, men that are overly nice and sweet will come off a bit as a liar to the women. If a man is a good actor, he notices that he has self esteem problems and tries to mask them with being overly confident and "jerk-y"? I do try to be nice but, according to this, I have to admit it would be difficult to determine whether a man is genuinely nice.

Another reason these perceived "jerks" get all the attention is that women think that these outgoing qualities are associated with strength and power. Plus, nice men are too easy.. women want a challenge! No woman wants a man that they can completely control or that acts like he worships the ground you walk upon. Right, ladies? This article says that men often act like jerks because they lack true masculinity. So, that's saying that you can act like you're masculine all you want but that doesn't mean you're truly masculine on the inside. (Hence the acting reference above) If you're a man reading this, you probably think "well, of course I'm a real man." Maybe it's possible we all think this because of the way women interact with us as an individual. 

Let me clarify that I don't think that all you guys out there are jerks. I definitely have some problems in the way I talk to and deal with women. Everyone does! Guys that are NOT perceived as jerks are still masculine, and guys that ARE perceived as jerks aren't always jerks.

I wanted to take a brief look at the psychology of this phenomenon. Mostly because we're all trying to date someone at some point in our lives and I've always gravitated toward psychological issues. Psychology effects everyone. You can learn about psychology and learn to help yourself. Some can help themselves more easily than others.

The trick, dudes, is to become truly masculine without appearing as a jerk to others.

The question for women.. Can you find that perfect balance within a man of confidence, kindess, mysteriousness, excitement, and mental strength?

Whether you accept the challenge is up to you.

 

 

4 Comments

In my experience, single girls commonly say that all men are jerks. But is it that the men are jerks, or that the women make them act like jerks in order to get some? I think that the women who often say that men are jerks are the same ones who deny nice guys because of your previous reason that they are too easy and want a challenge. Maybe these girls want to find challenge in a man, but at the same time want a man that is compassionate and a truly nice guy.

Coming from a female perspective... it's true, we do want a challenge! No matter what the case is in life, a person always feels more proud when they have accomplished something difficult, right? For you guys out there, think about from a sports perspective. Doesn't it feel much better when you beat a team that was highly ranked then one that was easy and you knew you could beat from the beginning? Women don't want what they know they can get. As bad as it sounds, I believe it's how we're made. Like you said, it's human nature, and we can't help it. I know that in college all girls say it's impossible to find a "nice" guy. It's not, unfortunately we're just not looking for a "nice" guy.

I definitely agree with the comment above me; girls don’t want a guy who is always at our feet. We want to chase, but not so much that it becomes a task. I suppose that brings up the question for guys: When is it too much? Well, unfortunately that’s just something a guy has to learn with experience, it’s all about a guy’s SWAG.
Just kidding, kinda. As a girl gets older, she cares less about how much swag a guy has, and more about what else he is made of. When I was younger, I will admit, looks were probably the most important factor. First impressions are everything. But now that I have matured and grown older, a guy looking like an Abercrombie Model is not the most important thing to me. There are so many other factors now that are equally as important like intelligence, how he presents himself, his experiences in life, where he is headed in the future, his manners, and his ability to act like a gentleman. Many times, girls are shallow and only do care about looks. But we cannot generalize a gender, because every person is different.
As my friend always tells me: any guy she would want as a boyfriend, should be somebody she would be willing to marry ( even though she is not looking to get married anytime soon). I think that this is a good rule of thumb for girls to go by.
So yes, guys can be assholes, but I will admit,girls can also be bitches (excuse my language).

Here you can read about where the "Bitch" evolves according to researcher Jesse Bering. Apparently woman are "eye-rolling, gossiping,ostracizing, sarcastic and dismissive." But to bring it back to your original post, these are the top five things jerks do to get woman, and it somehow works

I definitely agree with the comment above me; girls don’t want a guy who is always at our feet. We want to chase, but not so much that it becomes a task. I suppose that brings up the question for guys: When is it too much? Well, unfortunately that’s just something a guy has to learn with experience, it’s all about a guy’s SWAG.
Just kidding, kinda. As a girl gets older, she cares less about how much swag a guy has, and more about what else he is made of. When I was younger, I will admit, looks were probably the most important factor. First impressions are everything. But now that I have matured and grown older, a guy looking like an Abercrombie Model is not the most important thing to me. There are so many other factors now that are equally as important like intelligence, how he presents himself, his experiences in life, where he is headed in the future, his manners, and his ability to act like a gentleman. Many times, girls are shallow and only do care about looks. But we cannot generalize a gender, because every person is different.
As my friend always tells me: any guy she would want as a boyfriend, should be somebody she would be willing to marry ( even though she is not looking to get married anytime soon). I think that this is a good rule of thumb for girls to go by.
So yes, guys can be assholes, but I will admit,girls can also be bitches (excuse my language).

Here you can read about where the "Bitch" evolves according to researcher Jesse Bering. Apparently woman are "eye-rolling, gossiping,ostracizing, sarcastic and dismissive." But to bring it back to your original post, these are the top five things jerks do to get woman, and it somehow works

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