Absence Makes the HEART Grow Fonder


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It felt like everyone at my high school broke up before going off to college. Even if they were going to the same Community College, which was 15 minutes away from our high school, in the same city. I didn't understand this, and everytime you ask them why they'd say "I think we'd just grow apart."

Today, I'd like to give some encouragement to those of us who stayed with their partner through coming to the middle of nowhere in order to attend "The Pennsylvania State University."

distance between love couples.jpgThanks to Esure Insurance, a research was done of 1,005 British couples, and the results were a bit shocking to those "out of sight, out of mind" believers. In this research, there were couples who actually slept in separate beds, or had "alone time" to stregthen their relationship.

"The study found that nearly two fifths (39 per cent) of Brits believe they have a healthier relationship with their partner because they have greater independence in their home life while five per cent think that having separate rooms is one of the main reasons they are so happy in their relationship."

If you really thought about it, hindsight bias aside, it makes sense.  Each of us is our own individual. There will never be another person like you, or understand the world in precisely the same way you do.  Conversely, nature also intended for us to rely on each other in order to survive, evolution, etc.

In any relationship, the key factor is learning to co-exist with another person. Most people need some space to figure out who they are, but still know that they always have a support system. Like going off to college, and knowing that you can call always or return home at any time. Especially when you need money.

Some things you just have to do alone.

4 Comments

My girlfriend and I live about 2.5 hours away from each other during the school year, so I can relate to this post. I have witnessed both ends of the spectrum. For me, being away from my girlfriend makes me look forward to seeing her and the good times that we can have. For her, it is totally different, she gets very upset when I dont go and see her frequently. She doesnt handle the time apart as well as I do. I wonder though if there are indeed two types of people? People who want and need to be together, like my girlfriend, or people, like myself, that are okay with time apart. It is interesting to see how those two types of people coexist and relate to one another.

It's generally not just about wanting and needing to be with your significant other, but significantly deeper. Although, you are right. It is the type of person, often determined by the nurture aspect of their upbringing, that makes a person either lost when left alone from significant other or capable of dealing. I'm taking Psych 100 and we're actually covering this topic right now. This video does a good job of explaining.
http://youtu.be/DH1m_ZMO7GU

I can relate to this post as well. My girfriend goes to school 5 hours away from me, and there are no easy ways of getting there so frequent visits are not possible however it is definitely working how it is working in the article. We understand that we both cant see each other all the time, but when we do get to see each other it makes it that much more special. While at times its hard we are both a support system and encourage each other to grow independently, while not forgetting where we came from, or our connections back home(we've been dating for almost 3 years so its hard to forget that she was there while i was growing into who i am). Awesome post!!

It's very easy to lose yourself, when surrounded by so many people and options. Having someone around to remind you of who you are, and keep you focused on your dreams is very important. Actually, there's research that shows that a major factor in why students drop out of college is not having a stable support system. Number two reason: financial support. As young adults, and adults, we need something that we can fall back on, whether emotional support, financial, etc.
Tidbit: my boyfriend stayed in California while I came to Penn.

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