Now, we're counting down the final days until the end of the semester, and I'm not quite ready to leave yet.That probably sounds pretty bonkers. I mean, I always complain that I have too much work to do, and how I never have enough time to do all the things I want to do. I've since come to the realization that this is LIFE!
LIFE is never, ever having enough time to do what you want to do! And as an adult, you have even less time to have fun, explore, and observe the awesome parts of our world.
Right now, summer break is still an escape for some of us. I do have to work, but I will have extra time to relax and recharge a little bit before next semester. I tried to change things around for the better for this semester, but old habits die hard.
Getting a little bit warmer.
We'll just have to see when the grades are released if I think I was successful or not. Right now I'm not entirely confident.
On the plus side, I am excited to say that I've really found my place here at Penn State Beaver. I struggled with being out here for a while, and if I were a weaker person I would've probably gone back home. I still want to go home in a way. However, I think about it kind of like the movie Inception, and how the main character Cobb says he just needs "this one last job" so he can go home and see his children.
I'd be home in a heartbeat if this man was waiting for me.
I'd like to think I'd kind of adapted my situation that way, in a positive light. I keep thinking to myself that I want to go places, see things, and meet new people--then I can finally go home. I can (eventually) tell my children some interesting stories of the places I've been and the people I've met. It's a slow process (we're only in Beaver county, after all) but I'm making more progress than I would've if I had stayed at home in Harrisburg. I get plenty of opportunities through campus to go places (New York, for instance) and I have great friends who live and play in Pittsburgh.
"Yinz kids are killin' me!"
They say you're always going to be missing something. Right now, it's my family and the familiarity of home. It's easy to be in a place you've lived your whole life. But I know that I would be discontented if I never took this chance, NOW, WHILE I'M YOUNG, to do things. If I went home, then I would miss my friends here in Monaca and on the western end of the state. This is their time now (to awkwardly quote the Penn State admissions mantra) and I want to give them that time. My family had their time, for the first 19 years of my life. They will also have my time when I have kids, and want to settle down near my parents.
Right now, this is ME time! Time for self-discovery, time to gather those stories that you hear adults recount. I always seem to get the question, "How did you end up at Penn State Beaver?" I realized kind of helplessly that I came out here for the wrong reasons. I came out here for reasons other than my own, but I managed to make it a place that I wanted to be. To use a tired metaphor, it's just another chapter in this book of life.
Well, there was that ONE time...
Hopefully this was a little more of a positive entry for once. I'm trying my best to uphold honesty above all things in this blog, but I still want to chart my experiences.